According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, apathy is defined as “absence of feeling or emotion.” This is “lack of concern or interest” and comes from the Greek fraternal, antipathy, pity, sympathy. This is also called numbness or emptiness, and it is even deeper than apathy.
I used to be an English teacher, but I’m not here to give you language lessons. But I’m here to help you understand how and why apathy creeps into your life. And not only in everyday life, but also in spiritual life.
When our faith feels flat and quiet, we find ourselves praying without emotion. We worship, but we feel empty. Perhaps even the Bible doesn’t resonate with us as much as it used to. We all go through periods of numbness like this, even if we don’t want to admit it. But insensitivity is not the same as unbelief. Even though it feels that way, it doesn’t mean God has left us. No, numbness is often a signal rather than a malfunction.
If you are feeling spiritually numb today, you are in good company. Here are three steps to finding God in the midst of these emotions.
1. Stop interpreting numbness as a spiritual failure.
The moment we stop “feeling” God, we have let Him down. But numbness is often self-defense, fatigue, or sadness rather than sin.
We can even be quick to make assumptions about ourselves.
“There is something wrong with my faith.” “I have done something wrong and God feels far away.” “I am so haggard. God is ashamed of my struggles.”
Instead of accepting these assumptions, we need to challenge and reframe them. Remember that emotional numbing is often a nervous system response. Our mental health and spiritual life are connected.
In Psalm 13, David, who was faithful to God’s heart, felt:
“Lord, how long will you forget me? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and have sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemies be victorious over me?” (Psalm 13:1-2, NIV).
Similar words are found in Psalm 77, the psalm of the worship leader Asaph: “I cried to God for help. I cried to God to hear me. In my affliction I sought the Lord. In the night he stretched out his tireless hand, but I was not comforted” (Psalm 77:1-2, NIV).
But even in this despair, Romans 8:38-39 reminds us: “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels nor devils, neither present nor future, neither height nor depth, nor any other power in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (NIV) Emotions do not equal faithfulness.
Instead of ridiculing yourself or asking, “What’s wrong with me?” try gently asking, “What’s wrong with me?” Please bring these requests to the Lord in prayer and ask him to help you understand this situation clearly. Remember: Emotions are not the enemy, but they can be powerful indicators of what’s going on in our lives.
2. Seek the presence of God, not what you feel.
Unfortunately, in the world we live in, God’s presence is often measured by emotion (though it really shouldn’t be). Modern Christianity is very good at overestimating emotions. But Job, Elijah, and Jesus teach that emotions do not equate to God’s presence.
Job lost everything, but God was still with him. Elijah felt lonely and wanted to die, but God was still with him. Jesus wept tears of agony in the Garden of Gethsemane, but God knew what was on the other side, so He allowed Him to be crucified. It is tempting to equate God’s presence with emotions. To name a few examples, the Holy Spirit gives you goosebumps and screams. But faith is both quiet and real. Not everyone needs or wants to be an extroverted Christian. Author Natalie Hilton explains it this way:
“Faith in God should be bold, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be done out loud. Quiet moments of faith are just as important as visible ones.”
This week, instead of judging yourself based on how you feel, practice reducing the pressure.
Sit down and read a verse slowly. Rather than forcing insight or emotion, embrace it. And hold fast to the truth it proclaims. Ask God to reveal himself to you. Don’t be surprised if it’s still a small whisper or silence. God’s presence is not always noisy. Tell God you want to feel His presence, but be open to how He speaks to you. Please remember. God can be present without noise. And even in the absence of emotion, God’s presence is found.
3. Reconnect through honest and simple practices
Although we try to rely on emotion for our relationship with God, we must remember that depth often returns through honesty, not intensity. God doesn’t want you to pretend to be something you’re not, and He doesn’t expect you to act a certain way or feel a certain way when you come to Him.
Instead of attempting a spiritual overhaul, putting yourself down, or maintaining a guilt-driven routine, try a short prayer, naming your feelings, breathing, walking, and grounding yourself. Don’t run away from God. Tell him exactly how you feel.
Psalm 62:1 contains these beautiful words from David: “Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from God” (NIV). I love this Bible because it reminds me that no matter what I feel, nothing can take God and His salvation away from me. Matthew 11:28-30 says: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (NIV).
Friends, God wants you to come to Him just as you are, even if you are numb and spiritually indifferent. You need not be ashamed, and God is not ashamed of you. But he wants you to tell him exactly how you feel. To invite him into that space. Honestly open your heart and mind to how the Lord’s presence expresses Himself, even when emotions are lacking.
You don’t have to collect all the right words and phrases. You don’t have to feel a certain way. You need to come to God. If that’s difficult, try praying a simple prayer: “God, I don’t really feel it, but I’m here.” And no matter what you’re feeling, God is there and that’s enough.
Being paralyzed does not mean being absent.
I want to reassure you that no matter how you are feeling today, God is not waiting for your feelings to return. Seasons of dullness do not destroy faith. But if we run to Him in such emotions, they can lead us into a deeper relationship with Him.
The dictionary definition of the word “indifference” may not change right away, but God changes our weak, weary hearts as we run to Him. There is no need to be afraid, shy or hard on yourself, sweet friend. God loves you. God is with you even when you are emotional. Seek the face of the Lord today.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Akarawut Lohacharoenvanich
Amber Ginter is a teacher-turned-author who loves Jesus, her husband Ben, and granola. Growing up, Amber looked for resources on faith and mental health, but couldn’t find anything. Now, she gives hope to young Christians struggling with mental illness that goes beyond just reading the Bible and praying more. Because even though we love Jesus, we can still be plagued by anxiety. You can download her top faith and mental health resources for free to help you navigate books, podcasts, videos, and influencers from a faith perspective. Visit her website at amberginter.com.
