“Are I now trying to win the recognition of man or God? Or am I trying to please people? If I was still trying to please people, I am not a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10
When my older cousin took me to one of my college classes, one of my earliest memories of delighting my people was when I was four years old. When she introduced me to her friend, I remember a strong sense of wanting to be liked. It was as if I was center stage and I was performing in the hopes of getting their applause.
Fast forward 50 years and I’m still caught up in a cycle of people who are happy. I am more aware of it now and can better recalibrate my thoughts, but the desire for acceptance remains a very real issue.
Sadly, our people’s immersion in recognition prevents us from the freedom we have in Christ, the freedom to love and serve others. Often we miss the opportunity to pour into people because they are so consumed with what we think. This is not something we want to admit, but it is true.
If you’re still happy, here are some things instead:
Remember your audience
“Whatever you do, you will work hard, not for others, but like the Lord,” Colossians 3:23 (ESV)
You may have heard the phrase “Live for one audience.” Considering this, I imagine Jesus, an auditorium with one person in the front row. When I stand at a stage in my life, I have nothing to prove, nothing to play. In fact, I am welcoming him onto the stage and imagining him as the front and center.
As Jesus 1:3-6 says, through Jesus, we want most. The glory of his grace, and thus he has made us accept our beloved ones” (NKJV).
My friends, we are already not loved, accepted or approved than us. And we live for our audience, so we are free to share gifts and talents without the need to perform. No human applause or world standing ovation is required. We need Jesus as the central setting in our lives.
Prayers to remember your audience:
Graceful God, remind me that you are my audience when I try to perform for others. Stay before and in the center of my life and continue to hold my gaze on you. Thank you for loving me, choosing me, and accepting me. I am blessed to live a life that pleases you. Jesus’ holy name, Amen.
Remember your true desires
It’s helpful to remember your true desires when you try to break the cycle that pleases people. What fulfills you most? What gives you peace and joy? I am not talking about the often superficial desires that involve human approval, but your true desires that bring lasting fulfillment and satisfaction. for example:
– Spend more time with God through prayer, Bible study, and worship
– Openly and luxuriously love your spouse
– Set your time with your family and pour them out as God guides you
– Make people feel like they are looking and hearing from them
– Raising your God-given talent and body of Christ
– Do your work with excellence and integrity
– Take care of your temple – mind, mind, body, spirit
By listing the most important things in your life, you are redirecting your thoughts from self-centered to others-centered. Whenever you get caught up in a cycle that pleases people, you can remember what’s most important and re-focus your focus.
Prayers to remember your true desires:
Heavenly Father, help me stop chasing the superficial ones. Remind us what’s most important. Love you and others. Every time I get caught up in an unhealthy cycle that pleases people, put my thoughts back to your will. I really want to live to please you and serve others with the heart of Jesus. His precious name, Amen.
Remember your focus
“Look your mind to the above, not the earthly thing,” Colossians 3:2
Pleasing people is often rooted in anxiety, and there is a reason why the word anxiety begins with the letter “in.” When we live our lives in an inward focus, we lose sight of God-given purpose. It’s like holding a pair of binoculars in the wrong way, narrowly limiting our views.
In contrast, when you point the lens up towards heaven, you see the world from a respectful perspective. We long for heaven instead of the fleeting achievements of the earth. Jesus taught his disciples to pray, “Your kingdom will come and be done on earth as you will be in heaven” (Matthew 6:10).
Prayers to remember your focus:
Lord, turn my focus away from my anxiety. It often leads to please people. Broaden my views and see the wonderful future you have planned forever. From the kingdom perspective, renew my purpose of serving others with the gifts and talents you have given me, and store your treasures in heaven. Just as Jesus taught us to pray, “Your kingdom will come, and you will be done on earth like heaven,” I will give this prayer to you today in Jesus’ holy name.
Remove doubt and fear
“Don’t worry about anything, but in all circumstances, by prayer and petition, present your demands to God, along with Thanksgiving, and the peace of God beyond all understanding, protects your heart and heart of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
From my experience, doubt and fear are the biggest perpetrators when it comes to please people. We don’t think we are fully capable, which leads to fear of failure, which strives for human approval.
Recognizing what drives our people to please is an important step towards lasting change. Here are some useful questions to ask yourself:
-Are I afraid to be disappointed now?
– Am I doing this for recognition or because it’s the right thing?
– Will I still carry out this act of service, even if no one noticed?
– Will the suspicious person accept me or do they trust my acceptance in Christ?
Eliminating doubt and fear is a big step in the right direction. When human fear and God’s peace instead disappear, we can freely interact with our family, friends and colleagues, gently assure us of acceptance in Christ.
Prayers to remove doubt and fear:
Greet God, help me to recognize when I please people through doubt and fear. In those moments, remember the assurances I have in Christ and help me stop and take a deep breath. He is my part and my award. In him I can do things that are free of worry or fear for what you have called me. Lord, thank you for removing my anxiety and replacing it with your peace. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
Stepping into the confidence of Christ
“For they loved the praise of man more than God’s praise,” John 12:42-43
There is a huge difference between confidence and Christ’s confidence. The first involves continually building yourself to be worthy or successful. The second involves living from the victory that Jesus achieved for us through his completed work on the cross.
My friends, it is his strength that we are given the strength to live, move, and breath. So why do we consistently do things in our own strength, depending on others for acceptance and recognition?
One definition of approval is the belief that someone is good or acceptable. But the Christ-centric definition is that we are better and accepted through His righteousness. oh. It’s a difference that you can gain the confidence of Christ!
1 Thessalonians 2:4 says, “We are not trying to please people, but to please God, who tests our minds.” This poem sums up that, right? When our people entrust their hearts to the king of kings, the way to please our people comes to submission. He is our focus, our desires, our dedication. What we say is for him, and it is a thing of the past to please people, for him, and when we finally grasp this truth.
Prayer for Succession:
A graceful heavenly Father, I have spent so long seeking human approval. And I’m ready to step into a new way of doing things. I will surrender to you now. Turn my focus into heavenly ones. Let me remind you that this is not everything. Remove doubt and fear, take me hostage and replace it with your peace. Help me step into the confidence of Christ and the knowledge of those in your son. Let his completed work be my focus and the bounty that I will build my life. I pray these things in His precious and holy name, Amen.
More resources for your journey:
Why people are pleased is not what God wants for you
How to break the cycle that pleases people
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Motrist
