On the surface, everyone thinks you’re doing well. And for most people, you are too. You get things done. Always on time (even early), completing tasks and staying ahead of the game. But inside, you are drowning in anxiety and fear of failure. How do I know this? Because I’ve lived in this space for decades. And I wonder: Can you empathize?
What is high functioning anxiety?
Like other high-functioning diagnoses, high-functioning anxiety is used to describe people who appear to be successful, organized, and calm on the outside. They are the perfect teachers, businessmen and lawyers for you. But on the inside, they suffer from chronic and overwhelming worry, fear, and perfectionism. These people are at high risk for burnout because they are highly motivated and productive.
According to the Mayo Clinic, “High-functioning anxiety disorder is not recognized by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Instead, it is usually diagnosed as generalized anxiety disorder.” As someone who has generalized anxiety disorder and is not currently a therapist, I can attest to this definition being correct.
“High-functioning anxiety” is often overlooked or considered less severe than other forms of anxiety because the individual is still able to function. The more we can do and do, especially in Christian and high-achieving fields, the better, right?
Unfortunately, when high-functioning anxiety continues to be ignored, yet greatly experienced, the amount of suffering is minimized. They may even think that their problem is not worth seeking help because it is not impacting their daily life to the extent that they feel helpless, which is common with other symptoms. The sad reality is that just because our suffering is different doesn’t mean it’s unimportant. In fact, people who develop high-functioning anxiety have a higher risk of developing chronic fatigue, burnout, irritability, and physical symptoms (SummitSone Health Partners).
Here are seven signs that you may be suffering from high-functioning anxiety, as told to us by people who have personally experienced it.
1. You overthink everything. There are no small decisions. This may sound like a gift. Caring too deeply about things, overthinking things, making sure your words are accurate. rest assured. It’s no fun rehearsing text messages, emails, or the words you said over and over again after you’ve said them.
2. I feel guilty when I rest. Rest is good for everyone, but for high-functioning patients, rest is the enemy. why? Because resting means stopping. I’ll stop. We stop trying. You have to make a determined effort to quit, which is difficult.
3. Peace depends on productivity. Being more productive is beneficial, but relying on productivity creates a temporary sense of peace that disappears as soon as one task is completed and another appears. can’t believe it? When I was in college, I was never “advanced enough.” I had finished my assignments months ago, but it wasn’t enough. Because when anxiety is in the driver’s seat, she will never take “no” for an answer and “good” or “it’s over” will never be enough.
4. I have a hard time saying no. I’ve gotten better at this over the years, but as anxious humans, we also tend to be people-pleasers. I don’t intend to do that, but I’m preoccupied with what would happen if that happened. What if what we say “no” could change our lives? What if we miss something important? The list goes on and on.
5. Even if he seems calm, he seems to be anxious inside. Again, people with anxiety may look calm on the surface, but inside they are chickens with their heads cut off. As a former teacher, I was like this all day. Multitasking was my best friend, but it also consumed me.
6. Always repeat the conversation. Just like overthinking everything, it’s very difficult to recreate conversations. Maybe you’ll think back to what they said and how you responded, or what you wish you had said differently. But no matter how many times you repeat it, it just makes you feel worse.
7. Your faith sometimes feels like pressure. Sadly, many of us who struggle with anxiety find that our faith can be a part of that anxiety. It’s not because we don’t love God, but because we feel pressured to fulfill. All together. The good news is that Jesus doesn’t ask us to feel that way. You can leave your luggage and everything intact.
Again, I am not a clinical therapist, so this post should not be taken as medical advice. However, I hope it helps clarify patterns in your life that may need a little extra help or consideration.
High-functioning anxiety can manifest even in Christians because they live in a performance-oriented faith. We are told to “be strong” and “don’t worry,” but as a result we trade grace for legalism and peace for perfection. Fear of being seen equals lack of faith, so we keep our heads down, hide in corners, and continue to wear masks.
The hidden costs of staying here
Living like this not only gives those around you a false sense of self, but it can also lead to burnout, disconnection from God, emotional numbness, and strained relationships. UCLA Health offers this wisdom about the hidden costs of staying in this condition for too long:
Kate Sheehan, LCSW and managing director of the UCLA Cares Anxiety Awareness and Prevention Program, says, “It can be lonely to feel like you have to be perfect and be a high achiever all the time.”
“Hearing the words ‘high achievement anxiety’ may inspire some people to tell a friend or loved one what it’s like to live under constant pressure. Also, having support and understanding from others may help them understand that they can achieve high goals without anxiety, which may become a more comfortable way of living.”
How to start healing
If you have any of these symptoms, we want you to know that you are not alone. I know this battle well and I fight it every day. But friends, we have to start by truly learning to differentiate between our worth and productivity. Who you are is not reflected in your actions, even if it feels that way.
Second, allow God to meet you in your anxiety, not after it. Don’t wait to come to God until you have everything in place. Come to him now. Matthew 11:28-30 reminds us that we are called to come to Jesus, weary and burdened. that’s ok.
Thirdly, the limits of practice, rest, and boundaries. I know it’s difficult, but schedule it in your calendar like a task. I’m serious. This is extremely helpful and allows you to prioritize self-care even when you feel like you can’t. Adding a weekly Sabbath can do wonders.
Finally, replace your pressure-based thoughts with God’s truth. We recommend working with a counselor or coach for this, but we also respect that these methods may not work for everyone. Support may look different to you, and there’s nothing wrong with that. What matters is that you are honest and get the help you need.
Are you tired?
Are you tired of living like this?
Jesus invites all of us into a slow, deep, honest healing process. I can’t promise that your high-functioning anxiety will magically disappear. But I can promise you that God will be with us through it all.
Photo credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Jirapong Manustrong
Amber Ginter is a teacher-turned-author who loves Jesus, her husband Ben, and granola. Growing up, Amber looked for resources on faith and mental health, but couldn’t find anything. Now, she gives hope to young Christians struggling with mental illness that goes beyond just reading the Bible and praying more. Because even though we love Jesus, we can still be plagued by anxiety. You can download her top faith and mental health resources for free to help you navigate books, podcasts, videos, and influencers from a faith perspective. Visit her website at amberginter.com.
