During a season of debilitating anxiety, I was drawn to Psalm 51. I read it so often that I have memorized almost the entire text. Nearly 20 years later, those words still remain in the back of my mind. When I find myself struggling with feelings of heaviness and hopelessness, my mind pulls them to the surface.
unavoidable hardship
To think that Christians do not suffer from such heavy emotions is to deny the Bible the inevitable difficulties we will face, whether voluntarily or not.
“These things I have spoken to you, that you may have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart, for I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (NIV)
“Though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your staff and Your staff will comfort me.” Psalm 23:4 (NIV)
“We are under severe pressure on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; defeated, but not destroyed.” 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 (NIV)
Then Jonah was trapped in a whale, Daniel was thrown into a den of lions, Job lost his family, possessions and everything, the children of Israel roamed in the wilderness, and Shadrach and his friends were thrown into a fiery furnace. Need I say more?
In Psalm 51, songwriter David’s heartache and heartbreak are self-inflicted. The prophet Samuel had just shown him the gravity of his affair with Bathsheba, had Bathsheba’s husband killed in battle, and now he was grieving the loss of the son they had conceived.
Is there a deeper sense of loss than losing a child? If you read Psalm 51, you will see that the answer is a resounding no.
unexpected comfort
You may wonder why I found solace in a psalm so sad and rooted in sin so deep. After all, how can one derive comfort from the words of a soul-broken person? Where is the hope among the heaps of spiritual ruin?
The answer is found in verse 8. “Let me hear joy and gladness. May the bones that you have broken rejoice” (ESV).
In Western culture, we rarely think about bones other than pessimistic and/or fatal. Bones represent the end of the past, which no one can take back.
A bone in a politician’s closet will at best put them at a disadvantage, but their character will forever be marked as shady and untrustworthy.
Bones in westerns symbolize the power of the desert, a terrifying landscape that warns viewers of the impending demise of all living things, from plants and animals to humans.
In other words, bones make people anxious because they are synonymous with death.
In the Western world, bones do not create life, but on the other side of the world, especially in Biblical times, bones were a symbol of the human core. All of their bodies and souls were identified by bones. For the ancient Orientals, bones were not the end.
This is important in understanding why David told God that he had a broken bone. David confesses to God that everything he was and is now has been destroyed. David admits he was taken to the lowest place.
But David knows that even in this desolate place, God can make broken bones and broken souls rejoice. He understands this truth because, as a man after God’s own heart, he recognizes three truths:
1. His sin
Throughout Psalm 51, we see that David does not hide from his mistakes. “I know my sins, and my sins are always before me. Against you and against you only I have sinned and done what is evil in your eyes. Therefore, when you judge, your judgment is just and you are justified” (verses 3-4).
He offers his broken heart to God and confesses that his choices have broken it. The Bible reveals that God broke David’s bones and made his soul feel the weight of his beliefs, but David knows that this breaking is rooted in his personal decisions.
David lost his son, and he could blame God, but he doesn’t. David takes a hard look at the causes and effects of his sin, and instead of becoming bitter or making excuses, he faces what he has done and trusts that his Father will listen to him in this lonely, deserted place.
In a broken world, if we abuse the free will we have been given, our bones will break. Who we are is the result of the decisions we make, and when we choose selfishness and the flesh, our hearts and souls become like sawdust before God.
Little by little, we drift away from what we should be. But when we humbly accept this reality and show God a repentant heart, we find that our Lord has the perfect skill to patiently restore us one by one.
If God takes the time to count the grains of sand on the beach, or wants to know the number of hairs on your head, wouldn’t He be willing and willing to put your shattered heart back together? He is not afraid of your sins. He has already overcome it. So give your wounds to God and let Him heal your heart.
2. The need for God’s presence
Here in the Bible we see that David wants more than a fresh start. “Do not cast me out from Your presence, nor take Your Holy Spirit from me” (v10).
He doesn’t even ask God to give him back his son. He pleads for God’s presence. Even in the face of the death of his Son, David knows that life and joy are found only in the Father, who gives every good and perfect gift (James 1:17). David knows that even if he gets his son back, he will be dead inside if his relationship with God is not restored. Life loses purpose and fulfillment.
As a mother of two precious boys, I feel guilty wondering if I would ever have the same desperation for God as David did, beyond my desperation to get my babies back. Maybe you can relate.
As with David, it is my prayer that God’s presence is truly what I am after, and that by aligning my priorities with my desire for God’s glory, I will find the joy that will get me through whatever comes my way. And not only will you survive the storm, you may find blessings in the rain, joy in the lightning, and peace in the thunder.
3. Access to God’s hope and goodness
The heroes of the faith featured in Hebrews 11 do not have cloaks or special powers. Rather, they are heroes because they knew that God’s mercy would watch over them even in the midst of tragedy. Their dependence on someone (anyone) is what made them great. It had nothing to do with them, so God wrote the Bible in their humility and breathed life into the words written by a broken people to restore the world until the end of time.
Hope, goodness, and restoration are always in the Father’s tender hands. His wisdom and sovereignty will make everything beautiful and restore all that was lost tenfold. In this truth, we see David in Psalm 51 displaying the same great faith that he displayed when he volunteered to fight Goliath.
In Psalm 51, David is even more broken, weary, and old, but in his faith in the midst of raw sorrow, he chooses to believe in the God who makes the impossible possible, just as giants are destroyed and broken bones find hope to rejoice again.
eternal joy
Regardless of the hardships and hurts you face, cling to God who sees the crippled heart as His beautiful creation. In this tenderness, believe that when God restores you, eternal joy is still yours.
“My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit. A broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. May you make Zion prosperous and build the walls of Jerusalem. Then you will rejoice in the sacrifice of the righteous, the burnt offering whole. Then a bull will be offered on your altar” (vv. 17-19).
Photo credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/m-imagephotography
Peyton Garland is a writer, editor, and mom of a boy who lives in the beautiful foothills of East Tennessee. For more encouragement, subscribe to her blog Uncured+OK.
