I did something I swore I would never do. I made choices I thought I would never make. I hurt the people I love. Seeing all the wreckage, I became increasingly convinced that I had been thrown into a group of unloved people.
I have gone too far.
At one point in my life, there may have been a place where I could spend eternity with my heavenly Father, but I was no longer sure. Yes, people told me that his love is eternal and nothing could separate me from him, but the truth is, they didn’t know my story. If they knew my story, they would probably feel the same way about me.
Damaged. Broken. I lost it. something irreversible.
So I was willing to do anything to protect my secret. I want to keep it locked away in a safe buried deep within my heart. If it were me, I’d hide the key. I covered myself with a suffocating blanket of shame.
And I was going to stay there. This was my penance.
Until the Lord moved in ways I could never have imagined. He broke open my safe. His light shined into all the dark places of my heart. Slowly but surely, the truth of who I was to God replaced the lies I believed. My arms began to swing freely. My heavy steps became lighter. His head, which had been downcast, was now lifted and held aloft.
The blanket was removed. I was liberated.
I was loved.
And once I came out of that shame, I saw it for what it was and declared that it would never define me again.
Have you been there? Have you ever felt like you were weighed down by the weight of shame? Is it like a shackle around your neck? Have you ever walked with your head held low instead of held high? If so, know that you are not alone. Many of us have walked this dirt road, and many more will end up on this path. But the truth is, no matter how long we stay there, the Lord wants to set us free. God wants us to rest before Him and release everything into the embrace of His mercy.
Sure, you might be thinking. This all sounds great, but you don’t know my story. And you’re right, friend. No. But God will. And God has never left you. Never.
Also, he never does.
you are loved
One of the hardest things for me to understand when I was in that shameful place was that I was always and forever loved just as I was. I could believe that about other people, but I couldn’t believe that the same was true for me. I was trapped in a lie.
But over time, as I met with trusted friends and counselors and learned about God’s Word and the truth about Him and the relationship He wanted with me, the walls started to come down. It was a process that required me to be honest with my loved ones, myself, and God.
If you are in a space where you feel unloved, or if you feel like something you have done is preventing you from being fully forgiven and loved by the Lord above, be honest about where you stand. Catch the lies you believe about yourself and point them toward Biblical truth.
John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life.” And 1 John 4:19 says, “We love because God first loved us.”
You are loved, friend, and nothing can change that. You are loved because you belong to God. It may take some time to fully accept that truth. Ask the Holy Spirit within you to guide you and help you move toward acceptance of the great love the Lord has for you as a child of God.
you are a child of god
When my first child was placed in my arms, my heart was healed. As I looked down at the gift of the Lord resting in my arms, something inside me changed. I loved her with a fierceness I had never felt before. This was unlike anything I had experienced. As I looked down into her deep blue eyes and wrinkled newborn skin, I knew nothing could ever change the love I felt for her.
And if I felt the same way about my children and other children born after them, how much more so for God?
I realized that God loves me not because of who I am or what I accomplished that day. He doesn’t love me because of what I’ve accomplished or how I do things the right way. His love doesn’t depend on me not failing. No, this love is between a father and his child. But it is greater because it is innocent love. It is perfect love from love itself.
I am loved because I belong to God.
1 John 3:1 (NIV) says, “See how great love the Father has lavished upon us, that we should be called children of God.” That is who we are!
You too are loved because you are a child of God, not because of what you do or don’t do. Created in his image. Once you have this truth ingrained in your bones, you will realize that the labels and shame you choose to wear do not define you. You are defined by God’s great love.
You are a child of God. And nothing can change that.
you are forgiven
Just as there is no change in God’s great love, there is no unforgivable sin. It doesn’t matter if people are picketing you or shouting at you on the street corner. While they are throwing stones, God is holding you. Nothing can surpass God’s grace.
This can be hard to believe when we are wrapped tightly in a blanket of shame. We label ourselves and cling to the belief that we have gone too far, that we have fallen into a hole with no way out. I know this feeling because I lived in this space for a long time.
Just as I thought God’s love was for everyone else, I believed the same was true of God’s grace. Friend, if you are there, there is grace in that too.
When Jesus breathed his last on the cross, he took everything from you, including what you had in your safe. Before you took your first breath, God knew every hair on your head and every freckle on your skin. God also knows everything you will say and do and has chosen you.
The Creator of heaven and earth and the infinite galaxies that fill the entire expanse of the universe created you. And when the Son died on the cross for everyone, that includes you.
Believe it or not, God loves you so much that He accepts everything. The price has been paid. I remember someone asking me years ago, when I was struggling to shed my shame and walk in freedom. “What more do you need?” Wouldn’t his death be enough? This was like a dagger to my heart. Of course, his death was enough. But was it? Because at the time, I couldn’t accept that it was for me. As time went on, the Lord put people in my path who would walk with me through the valley to the other side. He was patient and kind to me. And He is with you too. Pray that God will make a way for you to believe in the riches of His grace. Pray that God will show you how much He loves you, and pray that your heart will grasp the truth that your sins will be forgiven both in the East and in the West. (Psalm 103:12)
Ephesians 2:8-9 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved through faith, and not of yourselves.” It is the gift of God, not of works, so no one can boast.
It’s a gift. cannot be earned. You can’t take it home.
Ask the Lord to help you walk in that freedom today.
you are released
One of my favorite scriptures is Galatians 5:1. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” So stand firm and do not take on the yoke of slavery again.
As someone who has lived under the weight of shame for a long time, I feel this in my bones. When we come out from under it, when the shackles are taken off, we don’t want to be burdened again.
I now stand firm in the truth that Christ’s death on the cross paid the price. Now, when the labels and lies threaten to take hold, I turn to the Lord and know that I am loved. Thank you for your understanding. I place it at the foot of the cross and trust that God will take it and make me new.
My friend, you are set free. you are forgiven. you are loved You are a child of God. You are not defined by your past or future failures. The Lord loves you. You remain as you are. For always and forever – you belong to God.
When shame starts to take hold, return to the Bible and God’s truth. Hold up the truth of who God is and who you are to Him, and let that light cover the darkness that it tries to grasp.
You are not defined by shame.
You are a child of God. Loved by the Creator of the Universe. Saved by the blood of Jesus.
Walk in that freedom. Let’s open the safe.
Run into the arms of the Lord and taste the sweetness of His mercy and love.
Photo credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/mapo
Jen Thompson is the author of Return to Jesus: An Invitation to Aby with Him in Every Beautiful, Stressful, or Tedious Moment.
