In the spring of 2018, I was faced with an ultimatum: surrender to God or continue on my path. For decades I’ve wanted to be in a romantic relationship. I cried on the floor, prayed until my knuckles were raw, and begged the Lord over and over again. But my hopes and dreams faded over the years, and I experienced setback after setback. Until the day I finally give up everything.
“I think the Lord wants you to completely surrender your relationship to Him,” my friend said. Her eyes were full of hope, but her heart was tired. She kept looking at me waiting for someone to like me. She always helped me pick up the pieces of my broken heart and put them back together. But I knew she was right. If I were to truly trust God, I had to completely surrender my heart as well as my head to Him.
On a warm April night, I did just that. I poured my all before the Lord and wrestled with this critical moment. There was one question I didn’t want to face but had to face. If God wanted me to be single for the rest of my life, I had to accept it. I had to trust that he knew best.
Today, I am grateful that God answered those prayers and saw my heart. He knew my desire to be in a relationship and he delivered on his promise. I have been married to the love of my life for two years now. But you know the craziest part? I met him a week after I completely surrendered. I know this isn’t true for everyone, but I’ll share the following story to illustrate this.
I have had to give up many times in many seasons of my life, from my job to my hopes and dreams. Last weekend, my husband said something else.
“Do you feel like the dream is over?” he asked. He smiled and gently held my arm, comforting me.
It took me a while to think about that question, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized the answer was yes. In a way, I couldn’t help but feel like the dream had come to an end. Let me tell you this: God has been very faithful this season. Time and time again, God has given me and grown me more than I could have asked, thought, or imagined. But this path to becoming a traditionally published author left me exhausted and discouraged.
I have an amazing agent and support team rooting for me, but almost two years later, being rejected 17 times and being told that your work is great but you’re not well known crushes your self-esteem over and over again. But then I realized the following. Just as I had to give up my desire to be in a romantic relationship, I had to give up my desire to be a traditionally published author.
Because the reality is this. If God doesn’t want me to be traditionally published, I have to accept it. I need to trust God and His timing because I know He has something better in store for me. That is an unacceptable truth. But the more I thought about the facts, the more I wanted God to lead my life (not me).
Are you broken with grace?
That night, I played the song “Graceful Broken” while raising my hands. A small tear fell on the corner of my face. Tasha Cobb’s words resonated with me.
“God, I’m here with open arms.
pour out my life
broke gracefully
All to Jesus now (Yes)
I give everything to Jesus now
I’m not holding back anything
without holding anything back
I surrender (I surrender)”
I don’t know what you need to give up in your life, but I want you to know that whatever you’re holding on to, it’s better to leave it in the mighty hands of our God. Whether it’s a relationship, a dream, a job, or anything else, God knows best and has good and precious promises to fulfill in and through you.
As much as you would like to say that things will always work out, no matter how you pray, dream, or imagine, you just can’t. I am not God, and only God knows the trajectory of your life. But I can promise you they’ll be good. It is for your benefit and for the glory of God (Romans 8:28). I can also promise that no matter what happens, if you surrender completely and cling to the Savior, He will fill you in a way that nothing else can.
What if I’m afraid to surrender?
I still pray, dream, hope, and strive to become a traditionally published author. Sometimes I’m afraid to have expectations. I’m afraid of surrendering. Can you relate? Do you feel the same way?
In Jeremiah chapters 38-40, Jeremiah prophesied that Jerusalem would be destroyed. After he is thrown into a water tank and survives, the king who put him there calls and asks the Lord for advice. Jeremiah tells him to surrender to the Babylonians and he will be saved. In verses 17-18 we read:
“Then Jeremiah said to Zedekiah, ‘Thus says the Lord God of Israel, the God of hosts in heaven, ‘If you surrender to the officers of Babylon, you and your household will survive, and your city will not be burned.'” But if you refuse to surrender, you cannot escape. This city will be handed over to the Babylonians and they will burn it down” (NLT).
Sadly, King Zedekiah chose his own way instead of the Lord’s. Verse 19 shows that fear of surrender ruled his life and he was afraid of the unknown. “But I’m afraid to surrender, because the Babylonians might hand me over to the Jews who have exiled them. And who knows what they will do to me” (NLT)!
As we read the rest of the story, King Zedekiah’s fate is unfortunate. After two and a half years, Zedekiah was captured and forced to watch as the Babylonians murdered his sons and gouged out his own eyes as he was carried away as a slave. He was unable to surrender and died.
Meanwhile, the Lord will surrender and rescue those who remain as a remnant. Babylon will occupy it, but God will restore and deliver his people.
Friends, this story is a clear example of what happens when we surrender ourselves completely to the Lord. Those who trust in God may not know the outcome, but we must believe that it is better and beyond what our human insight can provide. Isaiah 55:8-9 is a wonderful prayer that reminds us:
”My thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not my ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Colloquial Bible).
3 steps to surrender
If you are having a hard time surrendering, here are three simple steps I recommend you take.
1. Have an honest talk with the Lord. Take time to journal, pray, and let it all out. Confess your struggles and ask God to cleanse your heart. Ask God to help you surrender your dreams and desires to Him, knowing that He knows best.
2. Listen to worship music and pray. When I pray, I find it helpful to close my eyes and play a song with a theme similar to what I’m struggling with. For example, when I want to surrender, I listen to songs like “Graceful Broken,” “I Surrender,” and “All to Jesus.” When I pray, I spend half of my time listening to the words of the song and the other time listening to God speak to me.
3. Let your dreams disappear. This step may sound shocking and depressing, but check out this verse from John 12:24:Truly I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains but a seed. But if you die, many seeds will be born.(NIV). Although this passage refers to the death and resurrection of Jesus, it is a beautiful reminder that sometimes our hopes and dreams must die in order for Jesus’ greatest work to be completed in us. This does not mean that we give up, but that we surrender completely to God’s plan for our lives.
Need to practice surrender today? Take a few minutes to read the entire story in John 12. Then ask God to help you make your plans in exchange for His plans. Remember, God’s ways are better, but they begin with complete, total, whole-hearted surrender.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/thekopmylife
Amber Ginter is a teacher-turned-author who loves Jesus, her husband Ben, and granola. Growing up, Amber looked for resources on faith and mental health, but couldn’t find anything. Now, she gives hope to young Christians struggling with mental illness that goes beyond just reading the Bible and praying more. Because even though we love Jesus, we can still be plagued by anxiety. You can download her top faith and mental health resources for free to help you navigate books, podcasts, videos, and influencers from a faith perspective. Visit her website at amberginter.com.
