“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due time we will reap a harvest, if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9, NIV).
I left a stable teaching job just over a year ago to pursue writing full-time. I had felt this calling since I was 14 years old, and now that I was finally in the right place to do it, fear gripped me.
How should I make it?
What would you do if something happened to your husband?
What happens if I fail?
What if I heard God wrong?
But the more the question resonated, the louder another voice loomed.
It’s scary to leave a place you’re familiar with, but what’s even scarier is staying where you are when you know you’re called to go.
Looking back on this year, there have been ups and downs. I won quite a few writing conference awards and signed with an agent. But it was also rejected by 15 traditional publishers because they didn’t have a large enough platform. I significantly grew my blog, email list, and social media, but I also hosted virtual events and almost no one showed up. I learned how to hone my craft to become a clear and concise writer, but I lost some of my joy and spontaneity in the process.
The path to becoming a writer was not easy. I have cried countless tears and prayed more times than I can count. I’ve been feeling tired lately. I’m tired enough to give up, throw in the towel, and abandon this mission altogether. Even though I had won, I felt confused and defeated. A voice of disappointment has crept in and has bothered me more than words can describe. Yet, the more I pray, the more I am reminded of Galatians 6:9. Don’t get tired of doing good. To keep going even when things are difficult. Let’s do our best there. To know and fully understand that no matter what happens, God will get the glory for this.
I also felt the Holy Spirit working in three places. Maybe you can relate.
1. We are called to sow and reap.
It’s no coincidence that things are planted and flowers bloom in those seasons when I feel tired. Like a farmer harvesting his crops, I realized that God was calling me to work hard. I was called to plant a seed. I am called to water the seeds. I am called to listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit and follow His leading, even if it costs me. But in the end, it is God who makes the seed grow. It is God who gets the credit and glory. Growth is God’s responsibility, not mine. Why is this encouraging?
Every year, farmers plant hundreds of thousands of crops. They have no control over the weather, insects, and often unprecedented situations. But they can grow. They can fertilize the soil. They can be watered. They can do what they can to help the seedlings produce crops. But ultimately I leave the rest in God’s hands. A drought may come. Too many tornadoes and locust storms threatened to destroy the hard-earned crops. Still, they aren’t worried. God wants the same for our lives and missions.
We are not called to know all the answers or make everything happen (newsflash, we are not that powerful). We are called to listen and obey. 1 Corinthians 3:5-9 “After all, what is Apollos? What is Paul? But the servants of the Lord, to whom you have come to believe, to whom he has assigned his duties. I planted the seed, and Apollos watered it, and God caused it to grow. So there is no one who plants and no one who waters, but God alone who causes it to grow. Both the planter and the waterer have one purpose, and each will be rewarded accordingly.”For we are co-workers in God’s service. You are God’s field and God’s building” (NIV).
If you are feeling discouraged about your calling today, meditate on these verses. Stay faithful. Please be strong. But remember, just as the one who sows generously will also reap generously, so the one who sows generously will also reap generously (2 Corinthians 9:6).
2. We are called to hold with open arms
Perhaps more than any other lesson I’ve learned this year, holding an open hand is the hardest. It requires a deep understanding and surrender of the fact that we are not in control.
As an author, I have a lot of control. I control what I post on my social media, the blog posts I write, and the content I feature on my podcast. However, I cannot control the number of people who follow me or join my email list. You can approach marketing and learn best practices to implement, but you need to hold all of these things firmly with both hands.
Honoring our vocation with open arms means we have given our deepest dreams and desires to God. We are pursuing God’s call, but we are open to His leading and changing plans.
We are waiting to hear from the Pub Board today. Although rejected by 15 other publishers, my book proposal made it to the final stages with one publisher. If they say yes, I will receive a traditional contract offer. If they say no, it’s back to square one for me. Talk about holding something with an open hand.
This season has been a season of letting go and allowing God to give and take away. Yet, I am confident that the God who began a good work in me will see it through to completion. I don’t know all the answers. We often cannot see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. But I know that God’s plan for me is good and better than any plan I ever had (Romans 8:28, Ephesians 3:20, Psalm 138:8).
I don’t know what will happen in this meeting, but I know that God’s will will prevail, and I trust Him. God knows best whether I will publish one book, a dozen, or none at all. It’s not easy to open your hand. It’s an act of faith, but I’m learning to live it every day.
3. We are called to have hopeful expectations.
Maybe you, like me, are tired of your mission. You are tired of doing good and getting nothing in return. Perhaps you’re ready to throw in the towel, too. But my friend, you are not alone in feeling this way. God cares about you.
We are called to have hopeful expectations not because God will give us what we want, but because God will give us what we need.
As I have prayed and sought God in my calling as an author, I have also felt a connection to Christian mental health counseling. I don’t know what that means or what it will look like. I don’t know if God is calling me to get a master’s degree or if He is gently reminding me that my book on mental health is exactly the right area He wants me to focus on. Still, as I meditate on Psalm 5, I encourage you to do the same.
Verses 1-3 read as follows: “Lord, hear my words. Consider my lament. My King and my God, hear my cry for help. I pray to you. In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice. In the morning, I lay my requests before you and wait in anticipation” (Psalm 5:1-3, NIV).
David faced many enemies during his life, including his son Absalom. But in times of deep pain, suffering, confusion, and despair, David asks God to hear his cries before his prayers are answered. Even before the call is confirmed. David chose to bring his request before the Lord and wait expectantly. Please look forward to it. Note: “Have we missed much of the beauty and effectiveness of prayer by failing to have careful meditation before it, or hopeful anticipation after it? Let us combine holy preparation with patient anticipation, and we will have a far greater answer to our prayers.”
If you feel tired today, know that you are not alone. I’m here with you. Waiting, praying, and searching for answers in a dark and foreign land. But together we can rest in the Lord’s trust. God not only hears our prayers, but He answers them in ways far beyond human comprehension. And we are called to trust God even when we don’t understand. Don’t get tired of doing good. Ultimately, we will reap God’s harvest for us. So, all this? The pain, the confusion, the ignorance? It’ll be worth it.
Photo credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Drazen Zigic
Amber Ginter is a teacher-turned-author who loves Jesus, her husband Ben, and granola. Growing up, Amber looked for resources on faith and mental health, but couldn’t find anything. Now, she gives hope to young Christians struggling with mental illness that goes beyond just reading the Bible and praying more. Because even though we love Jesus, we can still be plagued by anxiety. You can download her top faith and mental health resources for free to help you navigate books, podcasts, videos, and influencers from a faith perspective. Visit her website at amberginter.com.
