Prayer to carry more than what has been burdened
Written by Rachel Wojo
Bible reading:
“What you are doing is not good. It is weary for you and for those who come to you. The work is too heavy for you. You cannot do it alone.” – Exodus 18:17-18
Listen or read below:
The brick fireplace can still be seen in the old living room. My daughter Taylor, who has special needs, thought running on the hearth was the best game in the house. At that time, many years ago, she was strong, fast, and had no concept of danger. That was the most difficult part of caring for her. As my mother used to say, I could explain until I was “blue in the face” why bricks were dangerous. Even after receiving explanations, her habits did not change.
One day she slipped.
She didn’t fall too hard and fortunately didn’t hit her head. But I saw her legs come out from under her, and for half a second I braced myself, and something inside me broke. There was a 3-year-old child behind me. 19 month old in playpen. A newborn baby sitting on a bouncy seat. And as I stood there with my heart in my throat, I realized that I’d been trying to be four people at the same time, and that would soon cost one of them something I couldn’t repay.
I don’t remember what I did next, but I do remember one particular thought. Her safety is more important than my pride.
For months I told myself I should be able to do this. The other mother was raising four children. Other mothers didn’t need help. If I were the right kind of mother, the right kind of Christian woman, I would understand that. Asking for help meant I wasn’t good enough. Asking for help meant I was failing. So I continued trying to carry everything by myself while my husband went to work. In addition to all the normal parenting duties, there’s always hovering and watching over Taylor. Oh, and laundry and meals too. To be honest, I continued to silently resent God for not making me stronger.
But my friend, it’s not like God hasn’t made me strong enough.
I was carrying something he never gave me in the first place.
In Exodus 18, Moses does the same thing as me. He sits as Israel’s judge from dawn to dusk, resolving every dispute and answering every question.
His father-in-law, Jetro, observed him for a day and said, “What you are doing is not good.”
It’s not, “I’m doing great, let’s go at my own pace.”
Or, if he sounds like he’s from my Appalachian roots, “Bless your heart, you’re so dedicated.”
He says this is bad for Moses and bad for the people he loves.
“The task is too heavy for you, you cannot handle it alone.”
Then I tell them to keep what they can and let go of the rest.
That’s the part I’ve missed for years. I thought it was a choice between carrying everything on my shoulders or giving up. I didn’t know there was a third option, but that’s the option God actually provided. Carry yours and let God carry the rest through His people.
The day after Taylor almost hit her head on a brick, I picked up the phone and asked about respite care. When the respite workers started arriving, my first reaction wasn’t one of relief. It was sadness. I cried because I felt like I had failed. I cried because I thought asking for help meant I loved Taylor less than my mother, who didn’t need it.
It took me a long time to realize that letting someone else carry some of my weight was the most loving thing I could do for Taylor, for my other babies, for my amazing husband Matt, and yes, for me. When Moses gave help to the 70 elders, his love for Israel did not diminish. He loved them even more.
If you are reading this today and your shoulders are hurting over something that was never yours, whether it’s someone else’s choices, someone else’s feelings, the burden of caregiving designed for a team rather than one person, or a burden you took on because no one else took it on, listen to what Jethro said to Moses and what God is saying to you through this passage. What you are doing is not good. The work is too heavy for you. God is not condemning us. He invites us to another solution.
You were made to carry something. You weren’t made to carry everything on your shoulders.
And you were never left alone with anything.
Would you like to pray together?
Let’s pray:
Heavenly Father, I come to You today so tired that even sleep won’t cure me. You can see the burden I’m carrying. I have some that are mine and some that I picked up along the way without anyone asking me to. I have told myself that if I am a stronger person I can handle this and if I am a better Christian I don’t need help. those are lies.
Lord, could you please tell me the difference? Show me what to carry and what wasn’t mine to begin with. Give me the humility to bear burdens that do not come from You, and the courage to ask for a hand to help me with them. Please forgive me for confusing fatigue with faithfulness. Forgive me for thinking I had to prove to you something you already told me you didn’t.
Thank you for giving Jethro to Moses. Thank you for letting people into my life who understand what I don’t appreciate. Remember that asking someone for help is not a weakness. That’s how you designed this whole thing from the beginning.
In the name of Jesus, amen.
If you’re in a season where your shoulders feel too heavy to carry, I wrote Desperate Prayer: Embracing the Power of Prayer in Life’s Darkest Moments for just such a day. This is the book I wish someone had handed me the afternoon Taylor slipped on the bricks.
Discuss today’s devotion with others in the “Daily Prayer” thread in the Crosswalk Forums.
Photo credit: Unsplash/Aaron Burden
Rachel Wojo is an inspirational author, speaker, and podcaster known for her popular blog rachelwojo.com. Through her Biblical approach and personal life experience, Rachel empowers women to find strength and hope in everyday situations. Despite enduring the loss of her mother, her special needs adult daughter, and her father, Rachel remains resilient. She has written an uplifting book, Desperate Prayer: Embracing the Power of Prayer in Life’s Darkest Moments, and a beautiful new spiral-bound prayer journal, Praying for God’s Promises. Rachel is crazy about her husband, Matt, and cherishes motherhood with six children on earth and two in heaven.
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