When I was a child, my mother was very distant. She was part of a generation that didn’t believe parents were friends with their children. Parents were parents, children were children, and neither ever intersected. She rarely played with me or spent much time with me. But she was good at enforcing rules and was an authority figure in my life.
When I turned five years old, I wanted to stop watching TV. My mother told me to turn off the TV and then do the housework. I immediately shot back at her and said no. Then she loudly told me to go to the room. Later that day, my father came home and spoke to me. He demanded that I apologize to my mother. When I came out, she was standing in the kitchen. Before I could say the words “I’m sorry,” I started crying. She hugged me and told me not to do it again. She reiterated that she was her mother and that I would listen to her and do what she said.
Although this is an appropriate parenting style, it distorted my perspective when it came to a deeper understanding of God. Growing up Catholic, I knew about God, but I didn’t know Him. Since my mother was the central authority in my life, I think God was distant, sitting on his throne with a giant fly swatter, waiting for me to mess up.
The moment I sinned, he hit me with a flyswatter and gave me back restitution for everything I had done. I have been a Christian for many years, but I didn’t understand grace. I believed in works-based salvation. It was believed that if you did good, God would reward you. If you did something wrong, God punished you.
I had difficulty reconnecting with God after sinning because I did not fully understand grace. After being mean to co-workers, getting angry at my husband, mismanaging our finances, and lying, I had difficulty understanding God’s forgiveness. Like my mother, I felt far away from God.
It’s not God’s work, but I get it. If you believe that you can’t atone for your sins and distance yourself from God. I stopped praying. I attended church, but I didn’t enjoy it. Sometimes I wouldn’t touch the Bible for weeks or even months.
I fooled myself into thinking I could live life without God. I could have them, but I didn’t need to connect with them. As often happens in life, I was overwhelmed by it. Trial after trial followed and I desperately wanted God back in my life. Even if he could never forgive me for what he did, it’s much better to have him in my life than to eliminate them completely. The moment I cried out to God and reconnected with Him, I was able to understand Him deeper and more intimately. Here’s how I learned how to reconnect with God.
I heard
Instead of doing my usual prayer routine, instead of just saying everything that was on my mind, I listened to his words. There were days when I couldn’t hear anything. But sometimes I heard God whisper something to my heart. One day, God whispered into my heart that I love you. This brought tears to my eyes. Loving myself despite what I did was difficult for me. I couldn’t believe that God could love me after what I had done.
When we hear a word from God, does it line up with the Bible? Sometimes we feel like we’re hearing a voice from the enemy, even though we’re hearing from God. It is important to distinguish between the two. If you hear words that are consistent with the Bible and God’s promises, then they are probably from God. Hearing God speak and have affirmations whispered into your heart is a great way to reconnect with Him. It reminds us that our worth is not determined by what we do, but by who we know.
I consulted
Life never ends in isolation. Often we live the Christian life ourselves. We need the help of people in our community who can help us reconnect with God. Hearing the testimonies of people before and after knowing the Lord helps remind us that we are not alone.
Because we isolate ourselves, we often think we are the only ones sinning. We don’t usually ask for God’s forgiveness. Because we believe that we are the only ones who can forgive. We believe that other people are more worthy of God’s love than we are.
But we need to hear from others who will encourage us to know and remember the Bible. It is easy to forget the Bible when we are immersed in sin. When we cannot forgive ourselves, we give the enemy a foothold. That allows him to keep whispering lies into our hearts. When we gather with others and let them remind us of our worth and the mercy of Christ, we can reconnect with God like never before.
I sought solitude
Seeking the help of the community was not only essential for me, it also helped me get closer to God. Solitude and silence are two spiritual practices that are less commonly practiced today. We typically spend our days rushing from activity to activity, but we rarely spend all of our time alone with God. Throughout the Bible, many Biblical people took time to spend time with God. They heard from him and allowed him to guide their lives.
When I made space for God, I reconnected with Him. This meant I had to block out all distractions. I needed to unplug my phone, disconnect from my family, and spend some time alone. The silent retreat was also a great way for me to reconnect with God. Not only does it help clear anything in my mind or heart that I haven’t talked to God about yet, but it also allows God to whisper instructions into my heart about things I might need to confess, the plans He has for my life, or what He wants me to do.
Reconnecting with God means hearing from Him. However, it is difficult to hear his voice as many people are often distracted and drown out his voice. Many things compete for our attention, even good things like spending time with family, work, and happiness. But God wants to compete for our time and He doesn’t try to force His way into our lives. He wants us to enjoy Him and take time for Him. If we are to reconnect with God, I must make space for Him, even when it is inconvenient and uncomfortable.
Not only is it important that we reconnect with God on a regular basis, but it is also essential that we constantly confess and repent of our sins so that we can live our lives, purify our souls, and fully unite our lives with God.
Jesus spent time in a lonely place praying. His example is one we should emulate. Jesus was attached to his father because his father made room for him. Similarly, we need to make space for God by spending time alone, seeking the help of wise counsel, and listening to His voice.
Photo courtesy © Getty Images/Wavebreakmedia
Michelle S. Lazurek is an award-winning multi-genre author, speaker, pastor’s wife, and mother. She is a literary agent with Wordwise Media Services and host of The Spiritual Reset podcast. Her new children’s book, Hall of Faith, encourages children to understand that God can be trusted. When I’m not working, I enjoy drinking Starbucks lattes, collecting 80’s memorabilia, and spending time with my family and dog. For more information, please visit her website www.michellelazurek.com.
