Family relationships can be a great blessing, but they can also be very stressful and test your character. There is a unique feeling of exhaustion that comes from loving the person you live with or see every holiday. Tensions often run higher in family relationships than in other types of relationships because families tend to be the most loyal to each other. Behind closed doors, drop off filters that your family might use at work or church. It can be especially difficult to be patient with family members. If you are frustrated with a family member, pray for the Holy Spirit to help you be patient. Patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit and is mentioned in the Bible in Galatians 5:22-23. Here are ways to pray for your family to be patient in different types of stressful situations.
● Prayer when personalities clash: It can be difficult to be patient with family members because of different personalities. You may be a planner who is good at sticking to a schedule and live with a laid-back spouse who doesn’t like following schedules. You may be a quiet introvert who lives with an extroverted, loud child and needs silence to recharge. Although these differences are part of God’s beautiful diversity, they can still be troublesome. Everyone tends to see their own approach to life as the “right” way, and everyone else’s approach as a flaw that needs to be corrected. But God wants you and your family to stop trying to change each other and instead be patient with each other and give each other grace and mercy just as God gives you. Then you all can become who God created you to be and learn how to complement each other. Colossians 3:12-13 exhorts us, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, gentleness, humility, gentleness, and patience. If any of you has a complaint against someone, bear with one another and forgive one another, as the Lord has forgiven you.” Because you are part of God’s chosen people, you can always rely on God’s help to become more patient. “Dear God, I thank you for creating my family in a unique way. I often want everyone to think, act, and move at their own pace. When I get annoyed by their habits, remember that I too have habits that seem to irritate them. Today, I want to embody your kindness. Help me not to look at character flaws when I think of my family, but to those whom You love completely and unconditionally.Give me the grace to endure them as you do.”May our home be a place where it is okay to be different. thank you. ”
● Prayer for when expectations are not met: It can be difficult to be patient when a family member does not behave as expected. You may expect your children to behave well in public, your parents to support your parenting choices, or your siblings to come to your rescue in times of crisis. You may be expecting to be thanked for making dinner, but your family eats and leaves the table. Or maybe you’re hoping your spouse will notice and help you when you’re overwhelmed with stress, but that doesn’t happen. When a family member does not meet your expectations, heed the advice of Proverbs 19:11: “A man’s wisdom produces patience, and it is to his glory that he overlooks sin.” When you learn to replace expectations with gratitude, you can become more patient. Instead of focusing on what your family is missing in what you want them to do, try to notice the good things your family is doing. Most of the time, people aren’t trying to bring you down. They are just dealing with their own stress and weaknesses. “Dear God, I confess that I often try to control those around me through my own unspoken expectations. I get angry when they don’t meet the standards I’ve set in my head. Please help me to be wise and find the glory in overlooking today’s petty crimes. Lead with a heart of service, not a critical eye. Help me articulate my needs instead of stewing in silence. Please soften my hardened and demanding heart and help me understand gratitude. My family is what it is today, not what I want it to be tomorrow. thank you. ”
● Prayer when communication breaks down: Communication within a family can often feel like walking through a minefield. You say one thing, they hear something else, and suddenly everyone goes into defensive mode. Misunderstandings are one of the quickest ways to lose your cool. Feeling unheard, you let out a bitter voice. They use abusive language because they feel attacked. At times like these, it’s important to stop talking and focus on listening. Try to listen longer than you talk. Choose to trust the other person’s intentions to the fullest, even when their words are clumsy or hurtful. James, Jesus’ brother, knows something about family relationships, and his advice is probably the most practical tool we have for family peace. James 1:19-20 says: “My dear brothers and sisters, keep this in mind: We must be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” “Dear Holy Spirit, please protect the way I speak today. When I recover and feel the urge to protect my ego, help me to speak slowly. Help me to listen better to what is happening. Help me to find common ground and speak words that build up instead of tearing down. May my home be a place where voices are lowered and hearts are opened.
● Prayer during a long season of caregiving: Patience is hard when the season of caregiving is long. Maybe you’re caring for an elderly parent whose memory is fading and you’re tired of answering the same questions over and over again. Perhaps you’re raising a toddler who is testing every boundary you’ve ever set. This season is physically and mentally draining. It’s hard to hold back when you’re exhausted. God is not asking you to work more. God invites you to rely more on Him for the strength you need to be patient with your family and to wait for His timing to bring good results to all caregiving tasks. Galatians 6:9 urges: “Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” “God, do you know how tired I am? You know the weight of the responsibility I carry for my family and how thin my patience is. I feel like I have no patience left. Give me the strength I need to do all my work. Please help me to do my best by knowing that you see how hard I work and that you walk beside me while I work. Thank you, Amen. ”
● Prayer for unhealed family wounds: It’s hard to put up with parents who have never been there for you or siblings who continue to treat you like a child even after you’re an adult. Family gatherings may remind you of old, unhealthy patterns and past pain that stem from unhealthy relationships and family conflicts. You shouldn’t allow people to mistreat you or ignore your boundaries, but you should develop new ways of relating to your family that will help you let go of bitter feelings. Allow God to handle your family’s situation in justice while you choose to endure. Ephesians 4:2 urges us: “Be thoroughly humble and meek; be patient and bear with one another in love.” “Dear God, You know the history of our family here. You know the wounds that have never fully healed and the words that sting even after all these years. Grant me the patience of the Holy Spirit as I deal with my family. Help me to be humble and kind without having to win every argument or prove myself right. Please give me the wisdom to set healthy boundaries while maintaining a loving heart. Please work with me to stop the cycle of frustration. Thank you. You don’t have to win every argument or prove yourself right. ”
● Prayers for dealing with small but significant irritations: Small irritating behaviors in family members (leaving shoes in the hallway, talking loudly, forgetting to do chores, etc.) can add up to become big problems. You may feel annoyed and guilty about these small actions because you think there’s nothing to worry about, but small irritations are important because they can destroy relationships. Song of Songs 2:5 calls them little foxes. “Catch a fox for us, a little fox that destroys our vineyards. Our flowering vineyards.” God cares about the daily atmosphere of your home. Persevering with small things creates the foundation for overcoming big things. So be humble, practice looking for what your family is doing right, not wrong, and heed the advice of Ecclesiastes 7:8: “Things end better than they begin, and patience is better than pride.” “Dear God, help me to keep my pride in check today. When I feel small irritations building up, I ask you to take a breath and remember your patience with me. Give me accurate perspective so I can be less irritated with my family and treat them with grace, just as you are with me. Please help me to value peace. Please help me to value peace in my home more than winning arguments with my family. Thank you. Please help me to value peace in my home more than winning arguments with my family. ”
● Prayers when you are testing your family’s patience: Sometimes you are the one doing annoying things that test your family’s patience. There may be days when you have harsh words to say to a family member or someone who forgets an important chore. When you realize how much patience your family shows you, you realize that not only do we all make mistakes, but you also play an important role in creating a healthy family environment. It is expected that you will be irritated with each other from time to time, in which case you should immediately apologize and forgive. Colossians 3:13 says: “If any of you has a complaint against another, be patient with one another and forgive one another, as the Lord has forgiven you.” “Dear God, thank you for your infinite patience with me. I know that each day is not easy for me to live. I know that I have moods and failures that require grace from my family. Please remind me of my own need for mercy when I am tempted to withhold it from others. Let me be the first to apologize. Make me a channel for the same grace that I need from you every day. Thank you, amen.”
In conclusion, as you stay connected to God through prayer, God’s Holy Spirit will help you be more patient with your family. The more you practice being patient in your relationships with your family, the more you will develop a strong character modeled after Jesus. God is incredibly patient with you and your entire family. You can count on God’s help to be more patient in all the situations your family faces.
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Whitney Hopler helps people discover the wonders of God and experience awe. She is the author of several books, including the nonfiction books Wake Up to Wonder and Wonder Through the Year: A Daily Devotional for Every Year, and the young adult novel Dream Factory. Whitney has served as an editor at major media organizations including Crosswalk.com, the national publication of the Salvation Army USA, and Dotdash.com (producing the popular Angels and Miracles channel). She currently leads communications operations at George Mason University’s Center for Human Services Advancement. Connect with Whitney on her website www.whitneyhopler.com and on her Facebook author page.
