For the past two years, my husband and I have been waiting on God’s timing regarding his work. As interim pastor, he has a short-term assignment that ends when the church’s contract ends. As opportunities came and went in church, we waited with great anticipation for what God would give us next.
However, when his last opportunity at church ended, my husband began looking for a job. As the weeks turned into months, we scoured local job boards, talked to our denominations, and prayed that God would reveal to us what he had in store for us next. After several months of waiting, a question crossed our minds.
What is God doing?
Usually, there was a sense of unity as we both took advantage of work opportunities. But somehow this job was different. As the lead emptied, we began to wonder if we had missed an opportunity we didn’t know was ours, or if our missionary timing was over. We prayed and asked God to help us feel together that this is what He wants us to do.
But all we got was silence.
This was very frustrating for both of us as we were both struggling to find God’s place in our lives at the time. Eventually, God spoke and another opportunity came. But the wilderness season of not knowing where God was and everything being silent became excruciating at times.
We all go through difficult times of silence where we feel that God is not listening. We pray, we go to church, we surround ourselves with Christian friends, all in the expectation that he will speak to us in some way. But when all we get is silence and we feel like we are limping through the desert step by step on dry, hot sand, we can quickly convince ourselves that God doesn’t care or that He is done with us.
Here’s what I learned about how to trust God in silence.
don’t give up
God has a plan for everything. Even in those moments when we feel like God is not speaking to us at all, God is still with us. God doesn’t owe us an explanation for everything in life. He can act as much as he wants at the time he chooses. It’s hard to believe that his timing is perfect, but we know that it is.
However, Satan uses our time in the wilderness to speak to us. Just as Satan tempted Jesus in the desert with grand promises of fame, honor, and popularity, his enemies hoped that Jesus would turn away from his father and turn his allegiance to his enemies. But when Jesus still chose to trust his Father in the midst of great temptation and suffering, Satan was defeated and Jesus knew he could trust his Father to walk him through each day one step at a time.
In the moments when we feel that God is not speaking, He is doing something even greater. God is shaping our character. Overcoming challenges is never easy. Suffering is not fun. But everyone who has overcome deep trials and come out the other side says the same thing: they are different people because of it. God rarely shapes our character through happy circumstances. Instead, God uses great trials, silence, and suffering to shape our character into the likeness of Christ. If we are more patient, bear more fruit of the Spirit, and are able to use God’s power to get out of the situation, then God is truly present after all.
don’t let the pain numb you
Many people are tempted to cope when life doesn’t seem to be going the way they want, using coping mechanisms to get through each day. Some drink alcohol, some watch pornography, and others drown their sorrows in comfort food or other vices. Christians may also engage in other more tolerable vices, such as listening to secular music, binge-watching television, and shopping online. When we go through difficult times in life, anything that prevents us from knowing God more deeply is removed. God desires intimacy and connection with His children. There is no better time to connect with God than when you feel like your life is falling apart around you.
When life is dark, hold on to God. Read His Word every day and meditate on His promises. Pray and ask God for a sign. Or God will answer you when His time comes. Just the obedient act of praying and listening to God’s voice will bring you closer to Him than ever before. When we choose to go to God instead of running to other things to ease the pain, we find that we are truly achieving the intimacy we so desperately crave.
don’t be isolated
Satan likes us to be isolated and without help from the Christian community. God is glorified when we surround ourselves with Christian brothers and sisters who pray for us in these moments of silence and who help us in times of need. However, if you are isolated from the world, you will not be able to do that. We can fool ourselves into believing that no one cares about us or that we don’t need connection. That is a straight lie from the enemy.
There is nothing in the Bible that talks about being alone in the Christian life. Even God chose to exist in three persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Let your father meet you wherever you feel lonely. Let Him reveal to you that you are never alone. Let Him reveal Himself through our brothers and sisters in Christ. Let them serve you through a meal, a card, or a word of encouragement. Anything we can do to stay connected to the Holy Spirit can continue our journey toward intimacy and connection.
please talk to someone
Finally, it is important to talk to someone. Feelings of isolation and loneliness during the wilderness season can lead to depression and anxiety. With mental health issues on the rise, it’s more important than ever to talk to a counselor or someone who can help you get through this time. Even if you seek the help of a counselor for just a few sessions, it can be helpful to talk to someone who can suggest strategies for moving forward, even while you wait in silence. Be sure to seek the help of a Christian counselor who understands that the body, mind, and spirit are all connected.
These people are trained professionals who feel called to help their Christian brothers and sisters move forward. A Christian counselor can help you sort out your feelings about God’s silence. Your life will be much better if you can develop healthy ways to cope with the wilderness seasons.
Silent moments are common for all Christians, but they are difficult to endure alone. By following the steps above, you can not only move forward in life in silence, but when God chooses to speak, He can give you a new chapter that will make your life exciting and new.
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/LaylaBird
Michelle S. Lazurek is an award-winning multi-genre author, speaker, pastor’s wife, and mother. She is a literary agent with Wordwise Media Services and host of The Spiritual Reset podcast. Her new children’s book, Hall of Faith, encourages children to understand that God can be trusted. When I’m not working, I enjoy drinking Starbucks lattes, collecting 80’s memorabilia, and spending time with my family and dog. For more information, please visit her website www.michellelazurek.com.
