While it is very important to know when God opens a door to allow us to step into a new family role, church leadership position, or untapped adventure, it is equally important to know when God closes a door. I’m not a therapist or a pastor, but in my Christian walk I’ve been asked by many women how they know when God is saying “no” to something. I often wondered the same thing. As much as I long to run through the doors that God has opened on my behalf, I also long to know which doors I am pulling and begging to open and which ones God has closed for me.
Just as God opens doors, He also closes them for our well-being. To protect us from evil. To encourage us into a deeper walk with God. To protect our healthy relationships and protect us from toxic relationships. To stop dissatisfaction and lead us to the path of peace. Although God closes doors for our benefit, we still need to recognize when God has put a padlock on a particular season, occasion, or choice.
This is a gray area because there is not a single commandment or red block in the New Testament that is an overt sign that God is closing the door. But in my own life, as I watched God close the door of a dream I had vowed to give everything I wanted, I discovered some signs that God was closing the door, locking it, and throwing away the key for me.
Check out five ways God may close the door in your life.
1. Unbiblical pursuits
Let’s get down to business. If you are pursuing a relationship, business endeavor, or other venture that is contrary to God’s ways, you can be sure that God will close the door.
I can attest to this from personal experience. During college, I met a Marine who immediately stole my heart. He was everything I wanted, but in short, he wasn’t what I needed. And God was well aware of this. I wasn’t fooled by my boyfriend’s smooth words and good looks. I was willing to turn a blind eye to this man’s lies and hypocritical lifestyle, but God would never choose rose-tinted lenses to hide what He didn’t want to see. God’s honest and protective nature did not allow me to remain in a relationship where God was not a priority.
Of course, I dragged that closed door for three years, took a jackhammer to the hinges, and did everything I could to pry the door open, but the Marines never fully committed. I’ve been hurt so many times, lie after lie, until I realize this door isn’t worth my time or heartbreak over and over again. Finally, I dropped my tools and walked away. A few months later, I met my now husband and asked Jesus to allow me to lead our family.
My friend, if you are chasing something that revolves around misplaced priorities, lies, and a deceitful personality, God is probably slamming that door shut for your own good.
2. Oppose Christian advice
Of course, your pastor, Christian leader, or other trusted godly friend doesn’t know everything. But when they each offer the same wisdom, each explaining that it’s time to walk away from a particular pursuit, perhaps it’s God’s way of whispering to you over and over again, “This is not for you. I have something better. Leave that door alone.”
It’s always fun to hear what you want to hear, but that’s not why we have healthy, God-fearing friendships. We allow iron to sharpen iron (Proverbs 27:17). This means building relationships that challenge us and encourage our walk with God. We believe that these friends and mentors, while funny, adventurous, and caring, offer wise advice and lead us to God, especially when we become so immersed in a particular relationship or opportunity that external recognition disappears.
Perhaps if all of your godly friends and advisors are shaking their heads no, God is using their insight to let you know that this door is closed. And there will be something better in the future.
3. Emotions that bite
Sometimes we have amazing adventures waiting in front of us. Stepping into them can be as easy as saying yes to an engagement ring, signing the dotted line on a contract, or agreeing to pack your bags and hop on the next Greyhound bus. They are a good opportunity to provide you with everything you want. But we can’t simply say “yes.” It is not appropriate for the word to roll off the tongue. I’m hoping to sign on the dotted line and earn a special promotion, but my hands are a little shaky. I’m fully loaded, but I can’t seem to find a bus with an empty seat for weeks.
Simply put, the door won’t open. You are standing in front of it. No red flags are being waved. You won’t find any subtle yellowing lights to warn you either. Everything seems morally right and promising, but there’s a troubling sense that what’s good isn’t what’s best. As Job 30:17 says, “…my gnawing pain has no rest.”
Friends, this is the Holy Spirit that touches your heartstrings again and again. He’s not ashamed of the decision you’re about to make. He doesn’t think you’re stupid for believing this could be a great opportunity in your life. He is simply holding you back because if you step into the good things you can easily miss the best things. And while God does have good things in our lives, He is more concerned about us pursuing His highest blessings. Granted, God’s best is not always easy and smooth sailing, but God’s plan will always provide a sense of contentment that we would not get if we settled for a mediocre life.
Don’t ignore that feeling that resonates in your gut, heart, and spirit. Before jumping into a “good” situation, take time to pray and consider God’s voice.
4. Lack of sleep
Throughout the Bible, we witness many heroes of the faith, especially King David, struggling with sleep when concerned with godly things, usually wrestling with unrepentant sin, or debating surrender to God. Similarly, when we are trying to force open a door that won’t budge, our bodies are tired, but our souls are wide awake and inspired by the Spirit to lean toward what is right.
Let’s be honest: Conviction isn’t fun. The Holy Spirit reminds us that we are not in the right situation or not making the wisest decision, and that we must not only repent of our stubbornness, but instead walk toward the door that God has opened for us.
We like to think we know what’s best for us. After all, who knows us better than ourselves?
Well, we might as well stop there and say that God knows us best and knit us together in our mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). And we might even explore further how much we know about the future, how much our likes and dislikes are constantly changing, and how much we’ve been wrong about ourselves in the past.
If the nagging thought that you don’t necessarily know what’s best for you is keeping you up at night, or if your beliefs are stealing your sleep, perhaps it’s time to surrender to God’s will, keep the door closed, and declare that you know He has a bigger and better door for you.
5. Remember God’s nature
Jesus took water and turned it into rich wine (John 2:1-11). He took a few fish and a piece of bread and fed thousands of people (Matthew 14:13-21). God takes what is good and makes it great. He blows away our definition of good. He will be the God of miracles, the God of the impossible.
If you ever stop and think, “Isn’t God doing something better for me?” know that your spirit is affirming God’s character. It confirms that God’s nature is full of blessings that we can never arrange on our own.
My friend, if you have a good opportunity and it seems logical and noble, but something inside you keeps whispering, “But God has more in store,” I encourage you to listen to that voice.
After all, it may not be your voice. It may be the still, small voice of God reminding us that some doors need to be closed so that God can open better ones wide open (1 Kings 19:11-13).
Photo credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/SasinParaksa
Peyton Garland is a writer, editor, and mom of a boy who lives in the beautiful foothills of East Tennessee. For more encouragement, subscribe to her blog Uncured+OK.
