I’ve felt this feeling before. Energy is low. I feel anxious and overwhelmed, but also apathetic and depressed. I felt emotionally numb, disconnected from the world, and lost in thought. On the verge of burnout, he was abandoned at sea.
I wasn’t crying (I almost cried), I wasn’t crying so hard, but I wasn’t really feeling anything. Did others feel the same way? What am I doing wrong? Lord, how long will I be here?
Although numbness is a normal feeling, it is often not. We live in a prosperous gospel world where many Christians fake it until they make it, but is that really what the gospel wants us to do? Of course not. Because the numbness we’re experiencing isn’t just burnout, exhaustion, or anxiety. All of these can certainly play a role, but that’s because it’s emotional numbness. A numbness that goes deeper than the physical body and directly to our souls.
What is emotional numbness?
On the surface, many people mistake emotional numbness for depression or apathy. They think it’s severe sadness or lack of emotion. Each of these factors can contribute to emotional numbness, but they are not necessarily the root cause. Because emotional numbness is not just sadness, but a lack or emptiness of emotion. When we are overwhelmed, numbness is often a stress response, or a coping skill for our bodies to want to shut down.
Emotional numbness can be caused by disconnection, lack of motivation, or feeling “flat” even in good moments. However, there are five overall causes for each of these symptoms:
1. Chronic stress and burnout syndrome
When our body is constantly active, active, active without proper rest and enjoyment, it overloads the nervous system. This leads to living in a state of chronic stress, which ultimately leads to burnout. Sadly, chronic stress and burnout have become the norm in our society, but that doesn’t mean we should continue living this way. Remember: our bodies are not machines designed to run 24/7.
2. Anxiety and overthinking
Similar to stress and burnout, suppressing emotions is often a coping mechanism for survival. Instead of dealing with our fears and disturbing thoughts, we push them down, ignore them, or try to numb them. When I started going to counseling, I didn’t realize how much “baggage” was weighing me down. But over the years, I’ve learned that having proper coping mechanisms to get through this difficult time is essential to my overall health. That includes taking time to process what you’re feeling inside and pray.
3. Untreated pain
Just like unprocessed emotions, there is also unprocessed pain. I’ll never forget the day I sat down for my first therapy session and handed my counselor a stack of pre-filled forms. The more I talked about his questions, the more I felt at ease. Until he said, “Amber, you realize that you’re experiencing trauma, right?” For decades, I lived in denial. My pain was unprocessed and I was going to leave it that way. But friends, untreated pain does not heal. It will boil later.
4. Depression
While depression isn’t necessarily the root cause of emotional numbness, it’s certainly possible that depression plays a role. Clinical depression is more than just feeling sick or depressed a few days a month. As the weeks and months go on, you feel a deep sense of deprivation and sadness. The numbness and apathy will only get worse, especially if it is not clinically addressed.
5. Mental disconnection
It is clear that many aspects influence our health as biological, psychological, social, emotional and relational beings. There is a lot going on inside our bodies, minds, and souls. But spiritual health and relationship with God also play an important role. When we feel disconnected from God (for whatever reason), our senses can become even more numb. Many people who struggle with mental health struggle with this because they wonder where God is in our suffering.
Why numbness is not the enemy
Rather than seeing numbness as the enemy, I appeal to all of us to reframe our perspective. Numbness is not a bad habit to eradicate. It’s your brain trying to protect you. It is not weakness, but overload without relief. Your emotions and everything you’re feeling (or not feeling) deserves validation, but we shouldn’t stay in that place.
If you’re not feeling anything or feeling nothing today, here are 5 small steps you can actually take to start feeling again.
1. Start small – Instead of reviewing your entire life, focus on noticing what’s around you. Your body is a person to love, not a project to “fix.” Choose one small step you can take today and say that’s enough. That might mean reaching out to a friend, setting up an appointment with a counselor, or going for a walk outside. The key is to put one foot in front of the other.
2. Reconnect with your body – Choose to be active instead of sitting apathetically. It may be five minutes, it may be an hour, but what matters is that you are choosing to ground yourself and be aware of this moment. Go outside and list five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
3. Name what you feel – Numbness can make you feel like you “don’t feel anything,” but write down what you’re actually feeling. Even if that’s all you can think of, record “nothing” with the date. Over time, you can reflect on these feelings and use them as data to determine what is helpful and what is not.
4. Reduce your emotional noise – It may sound silly and you may roll your eyes, but reduce your time on social media. It is also a good idea to put down your phone or laptop and go outside. These aren’t bad, but they produce constant output and can quickly become overwhelming.
5. Safe Expression – Instead of keeping everything to yourself, take just a few minutes to journal about your feelings. If you are too tired to write, record an audio or voice note as a prayer to God. If you are really struggling, we recommend seeking help from therapy or a trusted friend. Counseling, community, medication, etc. do not indicate a lack of faith. They demonstrate the faith of someone who is willing to admit that they are not okay and need help.
you can find hope again
You probably feel like hope is forever out of reach right now. And I understand. It’s so easy to feel this way. Your numbness is important. But it is possible to feel again. It takes time and is often a slow, gradual process.
Friends, you are not hurt for feeling this way, but you are buffering. God isn’t waiting for you to want to see him again. God is here, right now, and He loves you no matter what you are feeling.
Choose to communicate openly and honestly with God today. Have heart! But remember: God loves you just the way you are. And while what you feel is important, it is temporary in the context of eternity. And someday, even if it’s not today, you’ll find hope. Together we will keep that promise of hope alive.
Photo credit: Getty Images/Inside Creative House
Amber Ginter is a teacher-turned-author who loves Jesus, her husband Ben, and granola. Growing up, Amber looked for resources on faith and mental health, but couldn’t find anything. Now, she gives hope to young Christians struggling with mental illness that goes beyond just reading the Bible and praying more. Because even though we love Jesus, we can still be plagued by anxiety. You can download her top faith and mental health resources for free to help you navigate books, podcasts, videos, and influencers from a faith perspective. Visit her website at amberginter.com.
