It took me a while to understand this instruction, but it finally clicked.
“He who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and he who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” Matthew 10:37 NIV.
When God urges us to love Him more than our kin, unbelievers, those who are not guided by the faith, may interpret this to mean that God is selfish or full of Himself. That’s the kind of thing most atheists throw at me in arguments.
You may have had similar feelings when your faith was still rooted and unproven. You may have wondered how it was possible to love God more than the person who has supported you through every difficult situation you have been through. In contrast to God, the one who was always with you, at the time you felt elusive.
You may also have asked, “Is that fair?” For example, would we demand that a loving mother love God more than her baby?
That being said, let’s make one thing clear. By requiring us to live this teaching, God is not asking us to withhold love from others.
Has not God commanded us to love our neighbor as ourselves? Matthew 22:39 NIV.
Binding us to love God more than our relatives is God’s way of helping us see clearly His place in our lives. The main teachings of the Ten Commandments leave no doubt about this. It’s as transparent as sunlight.
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.” Mark 12:30 NIV
Why is it right to love God more than to love relatives?
I too once had a hard time understanding God’s requirement to love Him more than our loved ones.
But then something in my heart changed that I couldn’t accept, and one slow morning, during the familiar rhythm of my home, the change occurred. A little light bulb went off in my head. Let me tell you, I have never even verbalized this conflict with God in prayer, but God certainly knows what we are thinking. And at the right time, God will always give you an answer.
“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me” John 10:27-28 NIV.
I realized that our first contact is not with our family or our mothers, but with God himself. Isn’t God the One who “knits us together in our mother’s womb” Psalm 139:13 NIV.
I thought, “Wow, this is the God who knew us and breathed life into us before our mothers even knew us. So shouldn’t he be our first love?” Besides, if it weren’t for the Lord, we wouldn’t know how to love. We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19 NIV
And everyone we hold dear comes from God. This quiet, comforting warmth that fills me when I am with my loved ones would not have been possible without God’s grace and kindness. Everything we have and will ever have comes from God. Isn’t it fair then to love God more than our relatives? In fact, I think that’s fair enough, or more than fair.
Is it easier said than done?
Given how wise God is, He would never ask us to follow an impossible command. The simple fact that God obliges us to do so without any compromises only shows that it is possible.
The Holy Spirit imprints the love of God in every believer
Jesus always reiterated that we cannot accomplish on our own what God has given us. The Holy Spirit living within us helps us do things we could not do on our own and helps us accomplish things we could not otherwise do. Jesus was commissioned to empower us to live and become like children of God, enabling transformations that cannot be achieved through mere human effort.
It was through the power of God that Abraham was able to obey God’s command and offer his son Isaac as a living sacrifice to the Lord. It was through God’s enabling power that Daniel was able to dare to remain faithful to God in the face of death, even though he refused to worship other gods. It is through the power of God that persecuted Christians around the world continue to stand firm in their faith despite the continued violence against them. All things are possible if the Spirit of the Lord truly lives within us.
Benefits of loving God more than your loved ones
In our walk with God, we sometimes bump into each other. We sometimes have a hard time understanding what God wants or commands us to do. But then we realize that everything God obliges us to do is always definitely for our long-term benefit.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge Him in all your ways, and he will make straight paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV
Loving God more than our loved ones allows us to make the right decisions for our families. Sometimes, when our devotion to our loved ones exceeds our devotion to God, we tend to make wrong decisions that can affect the well-being of our family, such as emotional dependence, tendency to spoil our family members, and possessiveness.
Too much love for one’s fellow man can make a person illogical and dangerous if not trained with a healthy mind. How many people have done horrible things for love?
Loving God Gives Us True Discernment
Loving God deeply is the soil in which wisdom grows. It gives us the power to discern correctly. Because the deeper God’s love takes root in our hearts, the wiser we become.
As devotion deepens, wisdom also grows. When we truly love someone, we want to change to meet their needs and expectations. The same goes for God. When we love God from the depths of our souls, we naturally want to live a life that honors God. This makes us more deliberate about our choices, outcomes, and relationships. Wisdom often comes from this moral and spiritual discernment, knowing not only what is true, but also what is good and right.
Our earnest hope is that the power of the Holy Spirit working within you will imprint the love of God in your heart and deep within your soul. Because, my friend, there is nothing like the joy that is within you when your heart overflows with love for God, no… It’s not for temporary pleasure.
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