Have you ever been in a situation where you felt guilty of your actions after the fact? Unfortunately, that was me yesterday….
I accompanied my husband to a celebration of life for my boss of 20 years. Between being in the city, walking down the block on icy sidewalks in my Aircast boots, and taking the elevator up to the 17th floor, I hated it all and was way out of my comfort zone. On top of that, I was uncomfortable standing at an angle (because of my boots) while strangers tried to have a conversation with my introverted self, so I’m worried that I might have been made to feel uncomfortable. I tried to get back on my feet, but found myself focusing more on my own discomfort than making others comfortable…
As believers, our actions can be viewed under a microscope. Most of the people there didn’t know that I was a pastor’s wife, but some of the people I talked to did. Whether people knew it or not, I was not representing Christendom in the loving way we are called to.
Biblical history reveals that Christianity is based on love, in contrast to the Pharisees, who adhered to strict laws and prioritized the Law of Moses over love and mercy. The Sadducees were a Jewish political party that focused more on politics than love. The fanatics advocated the overthrow of Rome by violent means and placed more emphasis on their mission than on love. The Samaritans worshiped only on Mount Gerizim, considered only the Pentateuch of Moses to be from God, and focused more on form of worship than on love. We can see parts of ourselves in each of these trends. But when Jesus came, he and his followers had no geographic, political, or zealous objectives. They lived by the following scripture…
“Though I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but without love I am but a clanging gong or a clanging cymbal.Though I may have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and have faith that can move mountains, but without love, I am nothing. If I give my wealth to the poor and give my body to suffering and boast, but without love I gain nothing. Love is patience, love is love that does not envy, does not boast, does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, does not rejoice in evil, always rejoices in the truth, always trusts, always perseveres. ” 1 Corinthians 13:1-8
Do we always live by these verses? Unfortunately, I don’t think so. Let’s look at practical ways you can love first in any situation.
choose love before being judged
“I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also must love one another. John 13:34.”
It seems like it’s human nature to have our own opinions, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. When it comes to work projects, it’s always good to get everyone’s opinion on how to proceed. When we get stuck and ask someone for advice on what to do, they often end up giving us great advice. After all, how boring would the world be if everyone thought the same way? I doubt that anything could match the number of discoveries and inventions that have ever occurred.
However, if you are unwilling to listen to or consider the other person’s opinion, opinions can turn into harsh judgments. I think we’ve all encountered very opinionated people who basically say, “It’s my way or the highway.” I’ll be honest: when it comes to things I’m passionate about, I can be the same way…
Also, we sometimes judge people only by their appearance. The story of the urban legend “Jeremiah Stipek” or “The Homeless Pastor” depicts a pastor disguised as a beggar to test the sympathy of a large church before being introduced, only to be ignored, shunned, and told to sit in the back, leading to powerful revelations that challenge the congregation’s hypocrisy and lack of love. Unfortunately, I think we’ve all found ourselves making decisions like this at some point.
So how do we choose love before judgment? We first remember how Jesus loved us. When God saw us clothed in the rags and filth of sin, He clothed us with the white garments of righteousness. great love!
Then we remember God’s humility. When Jesus said those words to love one another as I have loved you, He was showing His love by washing the feet of His disciples at the Last Supper. Do you know what was on their feet? The “road network” was full of human waste and dirt, and Jesus was there on his hands and knees washing away the dirt.
The next time you feel the urge to push your point or claim to be right, remember the humility of Jesus. Take a step back from the situation and let it be. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is not share your opinion, much less impose it. I found that to be true for my adult children as well. Sometimes saying nothing produces the greatest results.
Suppose you find yourself in a situation where you have to make a hasty decision. pray. Ask the Lord to show the person how Jesus sees them. I’m sure you will feel love and compassion for them too.
Love beyond comfort and convenience
“Each one of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:4
As I said earlier, I’m a person who tends to let my comfort and convenience overshadow my love. Admittedly, I didn’t love beyond the comfort and convenience, but instead focused on the inconvenience and discomfort I was “experiencing.” How sad is that? This was a celebration of life for not one, but two people. This family was grieving the loss of their father and mother, grandfather and grandmother, who died within five days of each other.
I don’t think I’m the only one who feels sick when I’m hungry and in pain. If there was ever a time to love beyond one’s own comfort and convenience, it was during the memorial service. Now, sure, I wasn’t rude, but the Holy Spirit rebuked me for my thoughts and my more reserved attitude toward the people I spoke to.
Have you ever been in a situation where, looking back, you’re convinced that you could have shown your love better, especially if it caused you some inconvenience or discomfort?
Our scriptures teach us to focus on the good of others, not ourselves. Jesus is our greatest example of loving beyond comfort and convenience, and being willing to suffer and die in ways that are unimaginable to us. Compared to this, our discomfort and inconvenience are insignificant. How much love should we show others despite our circumstances?
The next time you find yourself in a challenging situation, seek the strength of the Lord and ask Him to show you His grace for any discomfort or inconvenience. I promise you that showing love in such situations will bless you. Just this weekend I had the opportunity to help someone in my family who had the flu, so I was able to go grocery shopping with a grocery list. Not exactly what I want to do on Saturday. But what I didn’t expect was how much helping others would make me feel better. In God’s love for us, when we show love to others, God loves us back.
Make love a daily decision
“O mortal man, the Lord has taught you what is good. And what does He require of you? To act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8
The above verse summarizes the practical approach we have been discussing to prioritize love. Let’s take a closer look at it by showing you how you can make your daily decisions about putting love first.
Acting justly every day means doing the right thing, pursuing justice, and being part of a just system, whether it’s through advocacy, supporting your community, or the small things you do every day.
Actions that help others. If that doesn’t model the practice of Christ’s love, I don’t know what does. There are many ways to show love every day.
To love compassion means to show compassion, kindness, and steadfast love to others, especially those who are suffering, and to rejoice in acts of relief. It doesn’t take long to find someone who is suffering emotionally, physically, or financially. Our families, church homes, neighborhoods, towns, and states all provide opportunities for us to decide every day whether to show love to others.
“Walking humbly with your God” means not walking in pride or self-righteousness, but relying on God, recognizing His sovereignty, and living according to His example. By spending time in God’s Word and learning about Jesus and his life, we can take his example as a model for our daily lives.
Let us be intentional about demonstrating the love of Christ to others in everything we think, do, and say. By making love a daily decision, we bring glory to God. Surely they will know that we are Christians by love.
Dear Heavenly Father, help us to love others, even when it is not easy. Holy Spirit, when we struggle to love others, help us remember and practice the loving habits of Jesus. In Jesus name, amen
What areas are you struggling with in putting love first?
What will you do this week to make love a priority?
Photo credit: ©Unsplash/Gus Moretta
Karen Dell Tattoo is a blogger, author, women’s ministry leader, pastor’s wife, mother, and grandmother who is passionate about God’s Word. Her blog, “Growing Together in Grace and Knowledge,” and her books, “Choosing to Trust God: Breaking the Habit of Worry,” “A 30-Day Devotional,” and “Choosing to Trust God Companion Journal,” reveal her heart offering biblical insights to inspire women to grow in, through, and overcome hardship. Karen and her husband live in Rhode Island and enjoy walking in the woods, petting owls, and spending time with their grandchildren.
