I can barely type the words “conflict” and “church” but my heart is racing, my stomach is pounding, and my palms are sweating. Why does the mention of disagreements and discord among believers cause so much anxiety for many of us?
Over a week ago, a friend told me about an ongoing problem within the walls of the church. She is confident that God is working on a solution in her heart. But just the thought of talking to her sister in Christ makes her want to throw cookies. “I don’t know why it’s so difficult to have tough conversations with other Christians,” she confessed.
As we chatted, we discussed how for most believers, fear of conflict stems from a misunderstanding of the words of the Bible. We know that dealing with conflict is part of the Christian life because God’s Word often speaks about how believers deal with internal disagreements. Most of Paul’s letters advise the ancient church to unite, pursue peace, and deal with conflicts quickly before they lead to discord. Although we are all created in the image of God, we each have different talents, backgrounds, and perspectives that shape our perspectives, beliefs, and opinions. Naturally, we will not agree, especially among believers, that we are at different stages of spiritual sanctification. In reality, disagreements don’t matter. That’s our reaction.
Sometimes it is beneficial to overlook a crime or leave the problem alone. But there are times when conflict is not only necessary, but essential, to help the church grow into Christlikeness. Although this article is not an exhaustive list of suggestions for dealing with church conflict, here are two principles to remember before getting involved in church conflict.
Change requires conflict
Before we discuss the merits of conflict, I would like to make sure we are all working from the same definition. As mentioned earlier, one of the reasons why conflict is perceived as negative and avoided at all costs is because misunderstanding About what conflict actually is. conflict It is a disagreement caused by differences in opinions, desires, and goals. It’s the lack of consensus and acceptance. We have already explained that it is natural for humans to disagree, but why do we think that conflict is unnatural for Christians?
Conflict is not only normal, but necessary for change. The Bible teaches that we experience an inner conflict between the flesh and the spirit (Galatians 5:16-17). This conflict may not be fun for believers, but it leads us to be transformed to become more like Christ. Conflict is part of our sanctification (Romans 8:5).
Conflict is also a natural outcome of relationships. This is illustrated in the exchange between Paul and Barnabas (Acts 15:36-41). Here are two believers who had a bitter disagreement over where to go next to spread the gospel and ended up parting ways. Often we view these verses and the disagreements that result in them going in different directions as negative. But we see that as a result of their separation, more people had the opportunity to hear the gospel message. In this case, the conflict caused a change in the direction of the department. result? people can have more opportunities listen gospel!
Was the conversation between Paul and Barnabas awkward? Of course! They were both very passionate people with strong convictions about the direction God was calling them. However, the Bible does not show malice or condemnation due to conflict. Although they parted ways, they remained united in mission and continued to encourage one another in ministry (Philemon 1:24). God used this conflict to bring about changes in their lives that ultimately resulted in the further advancement of the gospel.
Considering the positive outcomes of conflict encourages us to deal with disagreements rather than avoid them. Instead, we learn to accept and communicate disagreements and disagreements with love and humility to prevent relationship breakdowns.
Differences of opinion do not necessarily have to lead to division.
As people from diverse backgrounds come together to make decisions, it is natural for disagreements to arise. Having different perspectives and opinions is good for the church. The problem comes when we struggle with things we don’t agree with. For many Christians, the way to “resolve disagreements well” is to avoid conflict altogether. but It is possible to address struggles within the church with transparency and grace without inviting contempt or discord.
Open and completely transparent communication with your brothers and sisters creates conversation rather than conflict. Disagreements often occur because people have a hard time understanding the other person’s point of view. The silent treatment creates assumptions and misunderstandings about each other. Sharing the reasons behind our beliefs won’t necessarily make others change their minds, but it can at least help them understand where we’re coming from.
But while we actively seek to work through differences of direction, opposition, and general disagreement, there may be times when we must rely on Paul’s advice: Christians in Rome: “If you can, live in peace with everyone, if it’s up to you.” (Romans 12:18). Is Paul calling us to push away and give in at all costs? No, not at all. But he invites us to consider ways in which we can pursue peace within our own ranks of believers. I often ask the Lord to change the hearts and minds of people I find difficult, to help them see things my way. I plead with God and promise you: It will become easier to deal with difficult people, In doing so, we will be able to extend grace and peace to our church family. ” But what if being able to extend grace and peace in disagreement depends not on a change in the other person’s heart, but on a change in your heart?
Although there is nothing inherently wrong with disagreeing, conflict can quickly escalate. One of Jesus’ last prayers was for the family of believers to be united. I am in them and you are in me—so that they may be in perfect union. Then the world will know that you sent me and that you have loved them just as you have loved me. (John 17:20-23)” Jesus knew that his work on the cross would bring an invitation to the gospel to both Jews and Gentiles, who had traditionally despised each other. But their unity in Christ will guide them as they pursue peace and walk the path of love among believers.
Like the ancient church, believers today still struggle to get along, but thankfully God’s Word provides us with a clear path to dealing with conflict within the church. Just like in our biological families, we will experience disagreements within our church families. When being part of a church community is difficult, it’s tempting to wonder if it’s worth it. Perhaps it’s easier to walk away than to have a healthy or open dialogue about your disagreement. When we pursue peace in our lives, we contribute to the life of the whole church and become more like Christ. In doing so, we not only change the culture of the church to stand in a loving and grace-filled way, but we also share with the world that hurts, such as disagreement. The church community is worth it.
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Laura Bailey is an author and Bible teacher who encourages women to understand what they believe, why it matters, and how to apply Biblical truth to their lives. Her recent book, Embracing Eternity in the Here and Now, explores how the timeless truths of Ecclesiastes can help us live more peaceful, purposeful, and abundant lives today.
She lives in upstate South Carolina with her husband and three girls and is the director of women’s ministry at her church. Her passion is teaching women the Bible and empowering them to live with an eternal perspective. Invite Laura to speak at your next event or learn more: www.LauraRBailey.com Connect with us on Facebook and Instagram.
