It was not uncommon for C.S. Lewis to feel sad. The first time he experienced grief was when his mother died. Lewis was only nine years old when his mother died of cancer. After her death, his life changed forever. He wanted to call her, but realized she would never answer again.
Most of us can relate to C.S. Lewis, especially if we have experienced grief in early childhood. My mother died when I was a teenager. My mother’s absence left a scar on my heart that will never heal. Every day I wish I could see her again. Perhaps you too have experienced grief, or are currently experiencing it today. Experiencing grief can be painful, but thankfully God does not leave us alone in our grief journey.
Instead, Jesus helps us to see that other Christians are experiencing exactly what we are experiencing today. CS Lewis is one of them. Lewis encourages us to turn to God in our pain and find comfort in His love.
grief is a process
“We thought we could describe the condition. We could map grief. But it turns out that grief is a process, not a condition” (CS Lewis, Observations on Grief).
CS Lewis also experienced grief after his wife Joy passed away. A Grief Observed is a book he wrote that details his experiences with grief. In this book, Lewis shares many challenging perspectives and ideas. He describes grief as a process and describes it accurately. There is no set end to grief. Instead, it becomes an ongoing process within the grieving process.
Throughout our own journeys with grief, we must remember this truth. Our grief doesn’t magically disappear one day. Grief is a natural outpouring of love, so it can last a lifetime. Never be ashamed of your sadness. Embrace your sorrows and sorrows and find hope in the arms of Jesus (Psalm 147:3).
feelings of sadness
“No one told me that sadness felt like fear. I’m not scared, but the feeling is similar to fear. The same pounding in my stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep swallowing.” (C.S. Lewis, Observed Grief).
Personally, I had never associated sadness with fear until I read A Grief Observed. Fear is similar to sadness in many ways. It gives a sense of destiny to the stomach and heart. It makes you anxious, excited, and fidgety. Grief can often feel like you’re stuck in a room and there’s no way out. You have to accept and accept your emotions.
While we sit with our emotions, we can turn to Him. God is our Good Shepherd and leads us to still waters (Psalm 23:1-6). Peter tells us, “Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). Jesus cares about the grief you are experiencing. God understands what you are going through and will surround you with His tender loving care.
Blessed are those who mourn
“We were promised suffering. It was part of the program. It was also said, “Blessed are those who mourn,” and I accept that. I have nothing that I could not have bargained for, unless, of course, it happened to me rather than to someone else, and if it actually happened rather than in my imagination” (CS Lewis, Observations on Sorrow).
Most of us are familiar with the words of the Lord: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4). This can be a difficult lesson for those of us who follow Christ. How can we be blessed if we are sad? We are blessed when we mourn because the Lord comforts us (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).
C.S. Lewis elaborates on his understanding of Matthew 5:4, acknowledging that suffering is an inevitable part of life. Losing a loved one is nothing special. Sadly, each of us will see at least one loved one die during our lifetime. At times like these, we must turn to the Lord and find comfort in His care (Psalm 119:76). We will see our loved ones again in heaven – allow this truth to give you hope.
The pain of the death of a loved one
“The death of a loved one is like amputation” (CS Lewis, A Grief Observed).
In the aftermath of grief, we realize how much space our loved one took up in our hearts. As CS Lewis so beautifully writes, the death of a loved one is like an amputation. A part of us has been lost and it will not come back. If a person’s arm is amputated, it does not mean that the arm is no longer needed. Everyone needs two arms. But they have to learn to cope without the severed arm.
This is what sadness is like. You have to learn how to live without your loved one. It is challenging, painful, and testing. There are days when I cry until my eyes swell, and there are days when I sit alone in silence. Never feel like you have to deal with it alone. God is sitting next to you in this storm (Hebrews 13:5-6).
God will help you realize your faith
“God did not experiment on my faith or love to know its nature. He already knew that. It was I who did not. In this trial, God had us occupying the dock, the witness stand, and the bench at once. God always knew that my temple was a tower in the sand, and His only way to make me aware of that fact was to knock it down” (CS Lewis, Observation of Sorrows).
Grief helps us see how much faith we have in God. CS Lewis found this to be true through his own grief. God already knew what was going to happen and how Lewis would stay strong. The same applies to us. After losing a loved one, we may feel like our faith has crumbled, but we come out stronger on the other side.
You may hit rock bottom at first, but you will always rise. The Bible says, “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength; they will spread out their wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31).
Take your sorrows to the Lord today. Give all your feelings to God. Don’t be afraid to be honest about your feelings. Christ will carry the burdens of your heart (Matthew 11:28-30). Pray to God, read His Word, and sit before Him.
pray to the lord
If you are experiencing sadness today, it can be helpful to turn your feelings and emotions back to the Lord. We can come to the Lord together in prayer.
Dear Jesus, grief is heavy on my heart today. Thank you for guiding me after CS Lewis wrote about grief. It brings endless joy, encouragement, and hope to my heart. You are walking next to me during this time, Lord. Help me to remember that You are with me through every storm and every sorrow. Thank you for surrounding me with your love. Amen.
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Vivian Bricker earned a Bachelor of Arts in Ministry and then a Master of Arts with an emphasis in Theology. She loves theology, ministry, and all things helping others learn about Jesus. For more of her content, visit Cultivate: https://cultivatechristianity.wordpress.com/.
