Kara Karnodor faced the worst nightmare of her mother, one of four students at the University of Idaho, whose daughter Zana was one of four students, on November 13, 2022, and was murdered in an off-campus home.
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The case quickly caught the public’s attention, and initially maintained his innocence by the accused Brian Coberger, a former 30-year-old criminal justice doctoral candidate. He has since accepted the plea bargain and admitted his guilt to avoid the death penalty.
The deal sparked a mixed reaction among the victims’ families. As for Kernodle, she told CBN News that she was initially “shocked.” She was on a camping trip with the church when news of Coberger’s plea broke. Despite the lack of cell service, the person who went to check the message found a signal and came back to tell them what was unfolding.
“I was very shocked and confused because here was this guy who had always declared his innocence,” she said. “So, at this point there were a lot of questions surrounding the case. A lot of unanswered questions.”
All this caused confusion. Carnodor said he believes he is “not the Lord.” She wanted to keep her focus on God as the grieving mother embraced the Christian faith after the murder of her daughter. So her perspective on this transaction has changed.
“My initial reaction was a bit mad because I felt it was easy to admit that he did it and not have to explain or answer our questions,” she said. “And here we are planning on going to this trial. That’s not something you’re looking forward to, but I think we all wanted an answer.”
Kernodle continued. “The Lord helps me realize that I don’t know everything and that I am OK with what may be for my protection. I cannot know all the answers I want, I may never know.
Ultimately, she knows that crime is a “meaningless” act, and the more information you get, the more questions you get.
“There’s no good enough reason why it happened,” Carnodor said. “So, if we should know, we believe we know.”
To reach this state of peace was certainly not easy for Carnodor. She reveals that she was in a “bad place” after Zana’s murder, suffering from drugs and substances.
“And after that happened, the bad situation got worse,” Kernodle said. “I wish I could say that was my ‘aha moment’, but that was when I ran towards Christ, but instead I ran towards drugs and alcohol, where I either lived near Jesus or I knew I would surrender and die so that I could change my life.
Despite facing time in prison after Zana’s death, Carnodor found Jesus and said that he was now walking with the Lord and was experiencing a radically changed life.
“I can’t say enough about how much the Lord changed my life and how much he gave me through all of this,” she said. “It’s a constant battle. We fight against not flesh and blood, but against spiritual power, against spiritual evil.”
Kernodle said she found Jesus about a year after Xana’s murder in the midst of her most difficult struggle. Her new relationship with Christ brought her freedom, joy and peace.
“I was arrested and had to spend 10 months in prison,” she said. “I actually handed over my life to the Lord in a prison cell.”
Kernodle is recovering, navigating difficult waters of forgiveness and healing, abandoning cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, and the evil that embraced her.
“It’s been 18 months now, and I’m totally calm,” she said. “I am completely freed from all bondage through Christ. With the exception of Jesus, there is no other answer to it.”
In addition to Kernodle’s incredible life changes, her amazing decision to choose forgiveness was deeply and inspiring. She said that forgiveness of Kohberger was not about him, but rather about staying at God’s command and honouring him.
“The Lord asks us to forgive, and he does it so that we do not need to hold onto its bitterness, and its anger, and its hatred,” she said. “It was because it was destroying you and really destroying me.”
Providing forgiveness does not excuse the actions of the daughter’s murderer, but often releases her from unforgiving bondage – “bitterness, anger, hatred.”
“That’s the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do,” Kahnodol said. “And I promise you, it was nothing in me. It was all yes. I knew I had to surrender it – I began healing and knew I had to do to be forgiven for my sins.”
Kernodle also reflected on Xana, calling his late daughter “surprising” and pointing out that it “lit up the room.”
“She was funny. She could make you laugh,” she said. “She had a way of making everyone around her feel important and special. She was a real gift from the Lord from the first day.”
Ultimately, Carnodor prays that her life and testimony will help others who struggle to overcome their struggle and stick to the Lord.
“People need to know that Jesus is possible to overcome addiction in the worst cases, and I am proof of that,” she said. “If I can help one person see it, no matter what you are going through… it doesn’t matter what your situation is, the Lord will red you.
As they navigate their grief, they continue to pray for Karnordur and her family.
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