The benefits of discipline for raising godly adults

Another exhausted mother sat next to me, exhausted because her children wouldn’t listen to her. She and her husband experience continuous frustration and marital conflict due to their children’s lack of obedience. Their homes lack joy. Instead, it is filled with angry voices and cries of pain.

In restricted areas of Asia, modern Christian parents are often the first believers in their families. These parents did not have the privilege of growing up with a mother and father who demonstrated godly love and discipline. Although there is a desire to teach and train our children, many children do not have great examples in life to follow.

Over the past few years, I’ve been counseling local religious mothers about parenting issues, and I’ve noticed a few trends. My purpose is not to criticize or shame parents. Instead, I hope to provide insight and understanding into why obedience is important and how the global church can pray for these things as parents seek to raise the next generation of believers.

There is no peace in the home because parents get frustrated with their disobedient children.

First, I think it’s important to be obedient because raising obedient children is fun. Children who disobey their parents the first time they ask them to do something can cause a lot of discord in the family. As mom and dad deal with the stress of disobedient children, their relationship struggles. There is no peace in the home because parents get frustrated with their disobedient children.

The Bible has many references to listening to your parents’ teachings.

Proverbs 1:8 – “Sons, listen to your father’s teaching, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.” Proverbs 4:1 – “Sons, listen to the teaching of your fathers, and pay attention to gain insight.” Ephesians 6:1 – “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” Colossians 3:20 – “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”

Obedience means doing something with a happy heart, whether it’s the first time or every time.

When my children were small, a friend taught me the definition of obedience. Her definition of obedience is doing something the first time, every time, with a happy heart. This doesn’t mean that kids listen 100 percent (and certainly not in my case). We live in a fallen world and are sinful parents raising sinful children. However, it is important to encourage children to listen from the beginning.

Why is this? It is important to develop people who listen to and obey God’s voice. We are all sinners and lacking (Romans 3:23). It is important that our children understand this. Because our hope and desire as Christian parents is that one day they will listen to and obey God’s voice. If our children do not understand that they are sinners, how will they come to know Christ?

Grace-based parenting…let your kids do whatever they want to do.

I have talked to many mothers who believe they are practicing grace-based parenting. For them, this means letting their child do whatever they want. But I gently correct them and explain that this is not grace. Instead, grace-based parenting requires reminding children that although they are sinners, they have a wonderful Savior who loves and cares for them.

On difficult parenting days, I often read Psalm 126:5-6. It says, “He who sows with tears will reap with a shout of joy. He who goes out weeping with the seed he sows will return with a sheaf and with a shout of joy.” We may struggle and cry out to God on difficult days, but our hard work in raising our children is not in vain. Hopefully, through the time and effort we put into training and disciplining our children, God will change their hearts and our hearts.

Programs that help train parents and teach godly discipline and parenting are very important.

As I reflect on this, I am reminded of what many churches need. Programs that help train parents and teach godly discipline and parenting are very important. Books such as “Shepherding a Child’s Heart” by Ted Tripp and “Parenting: Fourteen Gospel Principles” by Paul David Tripp are available in English and at least Chinese.

Other programs, such as Connected Families, are also being implemented in many small groups. The program provides materials and guidance on connecting with children, and parenting coaches are also available for families with special needs. ChinaSource also features resources available to Chinese-speaking parents.

Please pray with me for Christian families on the mainland. Many parents are looking for support and examples of how to parent. I’m always humbled and amazed by the questions I get.

Ask God to give parents strength and patience as they run through the race to raise their children. Pray that God would encourage and equip parents who are training their children in a fallen world. Finally, ask God to change the hearts of your children so that they will know, love, and serve Him. This is the next generation of believers. My prayer is that God will use them in amazing ways for His kingdom.

Originally published by China Source. Republished with permission.

Red Lily (pseudonym) is a homeschooling mother who has been serving in mainland China with her family since 2016. She enjoys connecting local families with helpful resources and encouraging family life. In my free time, I enjoy writing, reading, and hiking.