In June 2018, just two months after moving to the “Running Upper” (renovation project), my husband asked me what I thought about moving my family to Korea for four years.
“Error…” I replied. “when?”
“September,” he replied. “We could probably push it in December.”
I flew gusts of home renovations, floods, more house renovations, and finally, after my last Christmas in the UK in December 2018, I flew for a while.
I wasn’t used to traveling or living abroad, but this was not prepared for the most alien places I’ve ever been to. When we arrived, roaming around the Korean capital was a sensory overload. A 12-lane highway running through the city centre, multicolored signs that I couldn’t read, unfamiliar food, a language I couldn’t understand and even tried to guess.
When I was just going to the supermarket and took me all day long, I wondered how I would deal with it for four years. After that, I made him feel like I needed to lie down.
We stood out like thumbs, as there were very few immigrants to Korea. In particular, our young children attracted a lot of attention wherever they went. I was regularly served sweets on the subway and sometimes photographed them. To be able to set up basics like a bank account, you had to apply for an alien registration card, and was known as “alien” (Waygookiin). In a city with nearly 10 million people, we were the right outsiders. It was scary.
Being a human is interdependent. Prosper through connection.
Being a human is interdependent. Prosper through connection. However, in the face of an unfamiliar, unsettling situation, my introverted nature forced me to retreat. It would have been easier to close the doors of unfamiliar people, habits and experiences than to deal with the constant unknowns I encountered.
Many foreigners (temporary immigrants) deal with this. They search for fellow foreigners, get in the way to find familiar foods, and try to get home to replicate their daily lives. This approach becomes a kind of cultural barrier and a shield against the constant demands of adaptation. And I admit it would have been easier to do the same.
But God created us for our community (Genesis 2:18). He invites us into his family (John 1:12–13), and he calls us to love people who are different from us (Leviticus 19:34). I realized that I needed people. Not only did my own tribe, I had to be laughed at for making mistakes. I had to teach. I needed someone to take me to a place and show me things. I had to be vulnerable.
Over time things started to change. A Korean teacher taught me some of the languages. I was able to read the Korean script 한글 (Hangul). I began to say “hello” and “thank you” to people at small convenience stores who were heading down the path I began to know.
The server at my local coffee shop knew that the coffee I chose was 아메리카노 (American), and that a 70-year-old woman who ran a local sweet shop had started chatting with me in Korean (try it). My meals subtly switched over as post-church meals took us to a Korean restaurant, and craving Korean spicy food and their world-class food (yes, the rice is definitely worth rating.
I slowly became more aware of the humanity of someone who was different from me.
I slowly became more familiar with the humanity of people who were different from mine, as I fell into a different culture than myself. A person who once had a 13-hour flight in a country I no longer knew about, has become friends. I admired their style and food.
I was challenged by my cultural views and why I did things in a certain way. And, miraculously, cultures that were not my own cultures began to intertwine with myself. I invested more. Things weren’t that scary, and I began to feel at home in a country that I initially felt so alien to me. For some reason, I’ve come to a close.
In a world of 8.2 billion people, it’s easy to feel small to retreat safely of our own familiar bubbles. But in the chaos of our busy lives, we need to be more connected than ever.
It is only through the story of God that we begin to grasp the values of all humans. And it is only when we go outside our comfort zone and share our lives with people who are different from us that we recognize what we have in common as humans and are more abundant for it.
Back in the UK, I appreciate all the challenges that come with setting up living in a new country, especially if you don’t speak a language. And my direct experience of being an outsider has become associated with people from different backgrounds, not just people from other countries.
Saint Augustine said, “You cannot do good for everyone, so you should pay special attention to those closely associated with you, by accidents in time, place or circumstances.”
It is our nature that connects.
So, the next time I meet an outsider like me, I’ll invite you to do something together. You may be surprised at what you have in common. After all, it is our nature that connects. That’s what makes us human.
Originally it was made public because it was human. It was reissued with permission.
Heather Carruthers is a project cooperative association for the evangelical alliance to be a human initiative.
The British Evangelical Alliance joins together for the Gospel, consisting of hundreds of organizations, thousands of churches and tens of thousands of individuals. The Evangelical Alliance, representing our members since 1846, is the oldest and largest evangelical unity movement in Britain. Uniting with missions and voices, we exist to serve and strengthen the work of the Church in our communities and society as a whole. Emphasizing the important opportunities and challenges facing the Church today, we work together to fund Christians so that Christians can act on their faith in Jesus and speak in the fields of gospel, justice and their influence.
