I was a little girl the first time I was let down by a Christian leader. I hung on to my faith greedily. I was hungry to serve the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. But their betrayal in the church caught me off guard. I soon learned that even the best Christians were not God. And learning to rebuild trust in God after being let down by Him can be difficult.
Today, leaders constantly disappoint us. The Christian world is no exception to this. Week after week, it seems, artists denounce their faith, writers claim deconstruction, and key leaders confess to infidelity, abuse, and horrific crimes. These accusations and confessions catch us off guard. They were people we trusted. Perhaps we admired and held firm in our faith. But sadly, their failures are not uncommon.
The hard truth is that when leaders let us down, it affects us and continues to affect us for the rest of our lives. Not a day goes by that pastors, celebrities, teachers, friends, and family members shape and shape this side of heaven in some way and don’t let us down. Some are more severe than others, but this is a reminder that when our trust breaks down, it’s time to evaluate and possibly re-evaluate our loyalties. When leadership failures strike us spiritually, the question is not so much what they did, but how we, as the body of Christ, respond.
Why does disillusionment hurt so deeply?
One of the biggest reasons why this disillusionment hurts so deeply is because of our attachment to spiritual identity, authority, and positioning. Don’t get me wrong. It is good and healthy to trust and admire spiritual leaders. We are not born to live alone. But our allegiance belongs to Jesus Christ alone.
Your attachment belongs to Jesus Christ and His Word.
Your authority belongs to Jesus Christ and His Word.
Your spiritual identity must be rooted in Jesus Christ and His Word.
All of this needs to be rooted in Jesus and His words, not in leaders who talk about Him. Because while they may play a role in your spiritual journey, it is Jesus who saves and redeems us. Mentors can lead well and help disciple us, but Jesus is the only one who will never fail or abandon you.
If we can develop a healthy relationship with attachment, authority, and spiritual identity, we can remember that God is our ultimate safe place. Catholic Bible Press says, “Whenever people let us down, we can remember that we have a Lord who will never do the same again. Our God is steadfast, steadfast, unchanging, and in that we can always have peace.”
Second, even when these leaders fail us, we can choose to put our hope in Jesus. Human leaders will continue to disappoint us, and some may try to mislead us, even unintentionally. “Politicians will turn out not to be who they claim to be. Bosses will try to set themselves up at your expense. Small group leaders will unfortunately be indifferent. Pastors will let you down. Christ is not like that. Trust in Christ as Lord and as your leader. Walk with me through whatever you are going through and guide you on this journey of life. Trust in Christ as your healer, heal your wounds, heal your scars, heal your traumas. Trust in Christ. He is your restorer, the one who searched for what was lost and never gave up on wandering. ”
What the Bible Says About False Leaders
As you learn to adjust your attachments, authority, and spiritual identity, it may be helpful to look to the Bible for examples of leadership. Sadly, the Bible is full of damaged leaders, from David to Noah to Abraham. But the beauty of these stories is that each one is honest and authentic. The Bible does not try to cover up those failures. Rather, it shows that God can save anyone who humbly comes to Him in their own faults.
David was known as a man faithful to God’s own heart. He was an emotional, kind and hard-working person. He was a brave young man who stood up to Goliath when no one else would. But he also committed adultery. He slept with another man’s wife and sent the man to the front lines of battle to kill him. Although he was a great leader, he also had his flaws.
Noah was obedient in building the ark. He chose to listen, obey, and believe what the Lord said, even when there was no rain anywhere to be seen. Noah warned the people, but when the flood came, only his family and a few animals survived. But after all this Noah got drunk.
Abraham was to become the father of many nations. God blessed him. That’s what he believed. But even though God told him that he and his wife Sarah would have a son, he took matters into his own hands. He caused a lot of trouble by sleeping with Hagar, Sarah’s servant. Abraham still became a great leader, but he was not without mistakes.
I share these three examples to show that leaders who make mistakes are more common than we would like to admit. It doesn’t excuse their actions, but it helps us remember that today’s leaders are humans just like anyone else.
How to separate God from people
One of the worst effects of leadership failure is that it turns people away from the faith. In this regard, I would like to make it clear that we must learn to separate God from His people.
Christians have the immense privilege and honor of proclaiming the name of Jesus. We must become like Him. The word “Christian” literally means “little Christ.” But sadly, it often doesn’t work out because we live in a broken and fallen world. We must not judge Christ and Christianity based on His people who do not act like Christ. And we shouldn’t judge it based on the best Christians we know. Because only Christ is perfect and only Christ will never fail us.
American author, Lutheran pastor, and public theologian Nadia Boltz-Weber reflects on the role of the church: “People don’t leave Christianity because they no longer believe in the teachings of Jesus. People leave Christianity because they believe in the teachings of Jesus so much that they can’t bear to be part of an organization that claims to be the teachings of Jesus but clearly isn’t.”
Bolz-Weber’s words remind us all: If we want others to be radically transformed by the truth of the gospel, we alone must act like Christ. We must build our lives on Jesus, even the best leaders He has given us to guide and instruct us.
Practical steps to healing
If you are feeling hurt by your leaders today, I encourage you to anchor your faith in Christ alone. Leaders are the most valuable people, but they are not Jesus Himself.
Second, I encourage you to take time to grieve. My counselor often says that she hates the phrase, “time heals all wounds.” Because that’s simply not true. Time alone does not heal. But learning to take time to grieve and process things, rather than pushing them down or ignoring them, is a healthy way to work through the pain.
Once you’ve taken time to reflect and grieve, be thoughtful and insightful in setting appropriate boundaries. This may look like limiting the number of articles you read from your leaders, or choosing to read the Bible first and the commentaries and devotionals second. Rebuilding trust with those around us will require boundaries and discernment in the future, but it is also about ourselves and our personal walk with the Lord.
Finally, don’t forget to have healthy conversations in church. Stay away from gossip and avoid increasing conversations that only add fuel to the fire. Proverbs 18:21 says: “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat of its fruit” (NIV).
It is possible to recover and recover from leaders who have let us down, but it requires rebuilding a mature faith that is rooted solely in Jesus Christ. As you build your faith brick by brick, remember this: Leaders are good and of God, but they are not God himself. Base your faith and religion only on Jesus Christ and His Word. And represent Him to a world that longs for the real, authentic Word of God to be fulfilled.
prayer
Dear Jesus, help us to be wise when the great leaders of the faith fail us. We are not asking you to be naive or ignore horrific events, but rather to remember that trust can be restored. Show us what it’s really like and remind us that what matters most is trust and a personal relationship with you. Even the best leaders can fail us, but you will never fail. It is an eternal promise that we can hold fast to. Help us become leaders who model your life and love for others and stay true to your Word. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.
Photo credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Keith Lance
Amber Ginter is a teacher-turned-author who loves Jesus, her husband Ben, and granola. Growing up, Amber looked for resources on faith and mental health, but couldn’t find anything. Now, she gives hope to young Christians struggling with mental illness that goes beyond just reading the Bible and praying more. Because even though we love Jesus, we can still be plagued by anxiety. You can download her top faith and mental health resources for free to help you navigate books, podcasts, videos, and influencers from a faith perspective. Visit her website at amberginter.com.
