At its core, prayer is simply talking to God. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to talk to God, but there are attitudes, habits, and traditions that can help lead you to a healthy relationship with God.
The most important thing about prayer is just to do it. Praying is basic, but it can be strangely difficult to do on your own. There can be many reasons for this, but to overcome your resistance to prayer, take a moment now to talk to God. Your prayer can be as short as, “God, help me to learn how to pray.”
Even if you pray for something simple, God hears your request. He listens every time.
“I love the Lord, for he has heard my voice and my requests for mercy” (Psalm 116:1).
Recognizing Your Obstacles to Prayer
Before discussing practical ways to begin praying, it is necessary to clarify some objections and obstacles to prayer. The answer varies from person to person and can be shaped by your past experiences, your thoughts about God, your thoughts about yourself, and other factors.
Jot down some notes to yourself to explain any obstacles that you think may be making prayer more difficult. There are several common factors that prevent people from praying. Maybe you’re busy and don’t know when to incorporate prayer into your already packed life, or maybe you want to pray properly but don’t know how. Some people want to show respect to God but don’t want to offend God by praying incorrectly.
If you grew up in the church, you’ve probably heard prayers that were always led by others. Sometimes they are formulaic, sometimes they are pre-written, and I don’t know how to pray without those resources. These prayers in your church can be long, emotional, and eloquent, but you don’t know how to recreate them, especially when you’re not feeling emotional.
Even though you used to pray a lot, you may stop praying because you feel like it’s not working. Even if you prayed it wouldn’t happen, something really bad might have happened. Or maybe you’ve done something really bad and you don’t know how to show your face before God again.
This list, or the list you have written down, may be large. Fortunately, you don’t have to deal with all these issues right away. Acknowledging them is a big step forward and allows God to deal with them in His timing and way.
This is another opportunity to pray a very simple prayer to share these concerns with God. You can pray in your own words or say something like: “God, I know these obstacles make prayer difficult for me.” Now I give these to you. Take care of it on your own time and in your own way.
adjust your attitude toward God
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, and in due time he will exalt you, and cast all your cares upon him, for he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6-7).
The most important factor when you talk to God is not the words you say. What matters to God is the heart with which you say it. In fact, he doesn’t always expect you to say a word.
Think about the relationships that are most important to you. You probably know that the way you say it and the heart you use when saying it has a bigger impact than using the right expressions to say what you want to say. This is even more true because God understands your heart and motives better than any human being.
sustainability
Why are some of our requests from God “answered” (fulfilled as we asked) and others not? This is an eternal and universal question, and it has to do with our questioning attitude toward God.
Jesus told the story of a widow who needed justice. The judges in her town were generally unkind and would not jump at the chance to help a helpless and possibly penniless person. But she kept pestering him until he relented. Jesus pointed out that if an unjust judge helps a person who keeps asking, how much more will God help him?
Continuing to pray shows faith in God’s character and power. It may seem illogical to keep asking questions when you don’t get “results.” But you know you’re talking about the one person who will do something about your situation. The widow believed that local judges had the power to deliver justice. God is saying, “I have the power and the desire to help you, so keep coming to Me with your needs.”
humility
The most important attitude to bring when praying, and when approaching God in general, is humility. You are not expected to have all the answers or do everything right. Admit that you cannot pray well enough to impress or persuade Almighty God. Come to him like a child.
Immediately after Jesus told the story of the persistent widow, he told another story about the posture of prayer. A man told God of his good deeds and thanked God that he was “not like an ungodly tax collector.” A tax collector was standing nearby, and he bent down before God and simply said, “God have mercy on me, a sinner.” Jesus said that some people walked away righteous before God, but others remained the same.
How to pray: a practical method
When it comes to “how” to pray, the possibilities are endless. Here are some ideas to think through and experiment with. When you’re trying a new way to pray or trying to overcome an obstacle in your relationship with God, consider that what you need most is to find a way to pray today. You don’t have to think about how to pray for the rest of your life.
planned prayers
Throughout history, Christians around the world have set aside time to pray each day or multiple times a day. People who find prayer a little difficult may enjoy scheduling short prayer times throughout the day. Try praying for a few minutes while drinking your coffee in the morning. Also, try praying for a few minutes during your evening commute or before bed.
Start with the Lord’s Prayer. This is a pretty reliable way to pray for “the right thing.” Because Jesus scripted it. Again, this is a practice that has been upheld by Christians since the earliest days of the church. Therefore, as you repeat these words, you are participating in an eternal prayer meeting where God is present and listening.
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom has come and your will will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us our daily bread today.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory,
forever and ever. Amen.
As you read or recite, look for a line that makes you think about your life or the people you care about. Maybe your family’s finances are tight and you’re thinking, “I don’t know where my daily bread comes from.” Then pray in your own words, “God, please feed my family. All we need is food for today.” Most of us will need to take special care to “not fall into temptation” on a daily basis.
You can pray as long or as short as you like on these topics, or as long as you have the time.
Resources for planned prayer:
Divinehours by Phyllis Tickle is a daily devotional book set. These include prayers from several traditions, including Catholic, Anglican, and Orthodox. Poetic and powerful prayers are woven into the scripture readings. Time to Change the World by Dick Eastman is designed to help you diversify your prayer life. Can be used for 12 minutes or 1 hour of prayer. It also covers often overlooked emphases in prayer, such as “watching over” and praying for other nations.
unplanned prayer
Praying consistently at a regular time throughout the day will go a long way in training your heart to turn to God throughout the day, even on days when you don’t plan to pray. And sometimes the sweetest and most meaningful moments with God are the ones we least expected.
Your emotions can be a trigger for prayer.
Joy and gratitude in prayer
When you see something beautiful or interesting, you can quietly (or loudly!) say, “Thank you, God!” My family sometimes notices nice things in the world, like a gorgeous sky, and says, “God, you did a great job!” These simple phrases direct our attention to God and recognize His work in our lives. Don’t underestimate the importance of these small prayers. God is a Father, and He likes to see our children cheerfully say “Thank you” when He does something for us.
Fear and Anxiety in Prayer
One of the most effective ways to grow your prayer life is to learn how to connect your fears, worries, and anxieties with prayer. Imagine if you prayed every time you were worried about something. That would be a tough prayer.
Choose a scripture or prayer that uplifts you each time so you don’t have to think of words when you’re emotionally distraught. Try this:
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner. (Click here to learn more about the Jesus Prayer)
This prayer is a theologically rich SOS. People cried out this prayer to Jesus as he passed by when they needed help casting out demons or restoring their eyesight. And when you need some help, you can say this prayer to God silently or out loud. You can also follow up by expressing your own needs if you wish.
Resources for unplanned prayer:
Practicing God’s Presence by Brother Lawrence. A short collection of thoughts on how and why to pray throughout the day by a very kind and approachable monk. “Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis. This is not usually considered a book about prayer. But when you want to see everything in life as an opportunity for prayer, this book helps you understand how the spiritual world intersects with everyday life.
Time and space permitting, we can talk endlessly about prayer. Because prayer connects us to God, it is as infinite, timeless, and life-giving as God Himself. May God lead us to a richer and more consistent prayer life so that we may know Him more.
Photo credit: Unsplash/Diana Simumpande
