That wasn’t the news we wanted to hear.
My husband has been having trouble using one arm, has lost hand dexterity, and now has difficulty moving and controlling his left arm. Over the past year, her symptoms have progressed to the point where she can barely use the device.
Despite repeated visits to doctors, tests, and consultations, the diagnosis was not appropriate. He has a brain disease that is not only progressive, but incurable.
We have only been married for 7 years. After 30 years of an abusive marriage, God has now blessed me with a husband. My husband is a man who loves and cherishes not only my husband but also me. We have just started life, and now life feels unbearably harsh and unfair.
But even if the future is bleak, God is still God. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord draws near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit,” and we know that the Lord is and will do this. But it’s still difficult.
Even though this season is difficult and there are so many why and how questions, we still cling to God because we know He sees us and is good.
Therefore, we strive to cultivate gratitude even when life seems difficult.
Gratitude means showing appreciation for kindness. At times like these, when we are overwhelmed by the burden of trials, it is difficult to keep our minds on the battle long enough to see the kindness around us. But it’s there. For God, it is always there.
Here are some scriptures and ways to remember how to find gratitude when things become unbearable.
G – Stay grounded in your relationship with God.
Isaiah 41:10 Do not be afraid, I am with you. Do not be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you, and I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
If we are honest with ourselves, it can be difficult to feel close to God during difficult times. That’s because we tend to think that since God allows such things, He shouldn’t care. But that’s not the case. It doesn’t make it any less painful, but it’s not based in truth. We can be thankful that the Creator of all things draws near to us during our difficult times.
A memory of gratitude: I am grateful that God has given me the opportunity to have a personal relationship with the God of the universe. God watches over me, knows what I’m going through, understands my emotions and fears, and loves me. I’m grateful for that.
R – Remember that you are human and it is okay to feel mixed emotions.
Hebrews 4:15 For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have someone who is tempted in every way as we are, yet without sin.
It’s okay to be angry, sad, and confused. Remember your humanity. Jesus felt the same emotions as he went to the cross, and even though he was the Son of God, he felt the pain of that event. We can thank Jesus for understanding the pain of our hearts because He experienced suffering.
Grateful Reminder: I am grateful that God understands my emotions. He knit me together in my mother’s womb and knows my emotional strengths and weaknesses. God tells me not to worry about anything, so I know I do that sometimes. I’m grateful for that.
A – Recognize and address challenges.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God. God gives generously to all without finding fault. Then wisdom will be given to you.
Process the trial. Give yourself time to think about what is happening around you. We cannot live in a bubble and pretend that things are not difficult because they are difficult. I am grateful that God understands that we need wisdom to get through difficult times and make difficult decisions. In times like these, God will give us what we need to overcome them.
Gratitude: I am grateful that God has given me the wisdom to overcome the challenges I face. As I look around me, I can be confident that God will not abandon me or leave me to make my own decisions, but will give me the strength and knowledge to do the right thing. I’m grateful for that.
T – Trust God when things seem to be out of control.
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Nothing you experience can escape God’s attention. He has been here since time immemorial and he will be here forever. God is all-powerful, all-knowing, and good. God has proven Himself time and time again over the generations, and we can trust that everything is within His control. He is still the Creator of all things.
Gratitude: I am grateful that God is trustworthy. Even when I cry out to God, He doesn’t turn around. Like a watchful Father, He goes before me, He is behind me, and He walks with me through every storm I face. I’m grateful for that.
I – Intercede and do something for others who are suffering.
Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.
Doing things for others helps shift the focus from your own difficulties. Bringing joy and smiles to the faces of others who are going through difficult times can help us find gratitude in our own lives. God looks favorably on those who bless others. Jesus teaches us to rejoice with others when they do good and to weep with them when others struggle. By doing so, we can be thankful that we are pleasing God.
Gratitude: We are grateful that Jesus modeled selfless service to others. Jesus taught us to treat others as we would have them treat us. There are many verses in God’s Word that direct me to help others. You can be grateful that you are bringing a little joy to yourself by helping. And for that I am grateful.
T – Thank God for even the small things.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always in all circumstances, pray without ceasing, and give thanks. For this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Live in the moment, looking for things to be grateful for. If you think too far ahead, you’ll miss the little things God does for you. Appreciate the breath you breathe, what you see, hear, feel, taste, and smell. Because without God’s grace these things cannot happen.
Memories of gratitude: I am grateful that God dwells in even the smallest of things. He makes himself real every day. I thank God for the air I breathe, the flowers I see, the gentle embrace of my children, and the sweet snorts of the pets I am blessed with. He treats me well every day and I’m grateful for that.
U – Reveals the hand of God at work.
Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to his purpose.
Good things can also come from difficult things. As we walk through difficult times, we can be confident that God is working behind the scenes to bring everything together according to His plan. Even if it doesn’t make sense to us, it does make sense to God. If it seems unfair, wait to see how God will put everything together for our benefit. Rest assured that God is at work.
A reminder of gratitude: I am grateful that God is at work in all things. God may not have caused the difficult events in my life, but He is making all things work together for my good. In the future, we may or may not know why they happened. But what I do know is that God’s hand is there, and for that I am grateful.
D – Look at the truth.
2 Corinthians 6:18 And I will be a father to you, and you will be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.
Ask God to help you remember who you are. When things get difficult and life seems complicated, the enemy’s voice is heard loudest. Take the time to read the Bible and clarify the truth about who you are, who is watching over you, and who is in control of your life. Knowing this truth will clarify your situation and open the way to a grateful heart.
A memory of gratitude: I am grateful that God has promised to be my father. And as a father, he watches over me and nothing happens outside of his watch. No matter what the enemy whispers in my ear, the truth is that I belong to Him forever because I have a personal relationship with Jesus. Nothing can take that away. I’m grateful for that.
E – Accept the support of others in the body of Christ.
Galatians 6:2 Let us carry one another’s burdens, thus fulfilling the law of Christ.
In difficult times, the body of Christ comes together, but sometimes it is difficult to accept the support of others. God tells us that we must bear one another’s burdens in order to fulfill the law of Christ. We are not solitary creatures, but are designed to live as one body with different parts. So give yourself permission to be grateful and accept the support of others.
Gratitude Reminder: I am grateful that I was created to live in community. We have strength in each other, but I have to remind myself that allowing others to support me during this difficult season is not a show of weakness. Rather, the body of Christ is living out what God created us to be. And for that I am grateful.
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Jecapix
Dr. Cindy Collier, a retired educator and psychologist for 35 years, is now a mission president, speaker, women’s Bible teacher, and author. She has been featured in the Bible study tool “Crosswalk” and is the author of two educational books: “The Special Educator’s Toolkit” and “The Data Collection Toolkit.” She is a survivor of an abusive marriage dominated by addiction, pornography, and mental illness. Cindy uses her testimony and shares the testimonies of other women to glorify God on her website CindyCollier.org and social media sites.
