The next chapter is introduced Love Life Sober, 40 Days of Alcohol, Rediscover your joy, improve your health, and refresh your mind by Christy Osborne.
March 9, 2020. I have been awake with course headaches for the past two years. I reach out and grab the phone to check the time while I close my eyes. I’m still wearing the makeup from yesterday. It’s not even made from the night before. With makeup from lunch at a small Italian restaurant in Clapham, we celebrated the kids turning 8 and 10 with close friends.
It takes a little time to evaluate the hangover category. Fuck. That’s bad. I immediately try to think about what I have to do today and when I can lie down again. It’s Monday morning. I’m used to this predicament because I face it on a daily basis. Monday means that the kids must be taken to school. But I can go home and take a nap – all alone, in an empty house. You can nurse your hangover in peace.
I pick up my phone and see a text from my cousin Katie in Los Angeles: “We don’t have our beloved Terry. Terry – my mom. Today marks the second anniversary of her death.
It’s not that the message of my cousin only appeared, but I don’t feel like responding to the opinions of my closest friend, the sad dol. They don’t understand how I feel. What should I do? They all still have mothers. Loneliness overwhelms me. I’m rolling my phone back to the nightstand and hoping that my husband, Chris, will take the kids to school this morning.
I spend most of the day in bed and get tired of sadness. I scroll through social media and distract myself on Netflix, but I mainly feel sorry for myself. The hangover is real, my stomach is stirring. My only purpose is to get through this terrible day. I intentionally ignore anyone calling to check on me and want to roll my eyes when the flowers arrive from Chris in the afternoon. What’s the point, as beautiful pink and red bouquets from my favorite florist in Chelsea won’t take back my mother?
two. year.
What have you done in the last two years? There is absolutely nothing. I felt like I was just drinking – drinks, drinking, drinking.
I look back on Instagram posts over the past two years. How did you look so happy when you were so sad and broken? There are photos of trips to Ibiza, Saint-Tropez and Paris. Skiing in the Italian Alps. Photos of me at brunch with gorgeous spices. I have a big smile on my face. how?
I will eventually scroll back to posts from 2018, just after my mother passed away. It’s a royal wedding. SkyNews, a UK-based news network, needed cheerful Americans to cover weddings where people could express the excitement they felt in America. I’ve been watching the interview since then. I should have been given an Emmy to look that happiness on screen when I was so miserable inside. There were a lot of days like this when I didn’t want to get out of bed.
The post has a comment saying, “Your mom would be very proud.”
As everyone knows, Instagram doesn’t reflect reality. So, what has my life really looked like over the past two years? Wake up with a headache, planned what I had to do to spend the day, and seemed hoping to have lunch on my calendar, so I had an excuse to have a glass of cold white wine (or three) at noon, and if there was no lunch I would try to arrive early in the afternoon so I could open a bottle of wine when the home book came out.
Everything was so shiny and looked beautiful on the surface. But that wasn’t the case. I was relieved when the wine bottle opened in the afternoon. I was able to go to Fuzzy again. There was no need to deal with anything that was painful. I didn’t need to think about the fact that I wasn’t a great mom. I didn’t have to think about marrying Chris. I didn’t have to think that my kids didn’t have a “Grammy” anymore. Wine has been a complete and complete escape for two years.
two. year.
If I continue to drink this way, where will I be in another two years? My heart is, oh, come on, I’m fine. No one called me because of my drinking. This has to stop.
Then, to silence the internal battles in my head, I literally cry out to God, “Jesus, I can’t do this anymore!”
I certainly don’t want to look or feel this way anymore. I don’t want to spend March 9th to nurse my hangover on March 9th and hide in a dark bedroom. I need this day to mean something else. And on March 9, 2020, in honor of my mother, I decided to try to get better for my small family.
. . .
Over the next few days and months, I struggled to leave it free of alcohol. I struggled with cravings and found it scary to tell my friends what I was doing. I didn’t have a single friend who didn’t drink. I was worried that my social life would suffer. I didn’t know how to navigate my life without alcohol. I felt scared and alone.
I continued to go back to two Corinthians 12:9. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is perfected with weakness.” Therefore, I will be more willing to boast about my weaknesses, just as the power of Christ takes over me. ”
God’s power became evident to me in my weakness with regard to alcohol. He took this struggle for me and turned it into something I could never imagine. Verse 10 states, “That is why I please my weakness for Christ…. When I am weak, I am strong.” When I finally surrendered to God, I felt more powerful than ever for his work. I knew there was a story and message to share with other women who suffer from alcohol.
Throughout my drinking day, I prayed to Jesus constantly and asked for his help. I know now that he was with me on my darkest day and had a plan that was important to me. He heard my prayers and I felt his presence. In the year I let go of alcohol, I came closer to Jesus than ever, studying everything I could about alcohol use disorder and addiction.
Finally, I felt God was calling me to speak up about my drinking journey, so I did it. I started documenting my daily learning on Instagram during the Covid lockdown. It was scary to be open and vulnerable, but the reaction I got was overwhelming. Old and new, so many friends reached out to me and asked me how I found freedom from alcohol. I tried to help in some way and recommended books, podcasts and resources that helped me.
I felt that God was tweaking me to explore more ways to help others, so at the end of 2020 I enrolled in my first Life Coaching Certification Program with a focus on drinking. Since then, I have been blessed with a thriving private coaching practice that has been certified through multiple programs and is blessed with supporting women around the world.
Coaching is the process of allowing others to discuss their struggles. As I listened and thoughtful questions over the past few years, I heard from a woman who felt that they lost their faith or that they were far from Jesus because of their drinking. I wanted to create a resource that combined practical neuroscience-based coaching with biblical support and encouragement. Through this book, God blessed me by making that dream a reality.
I am excited to spend the next 40 days with this alcohol filled with sprinkles of grace, compassion and science. I find it difficult to take a break from alcohol and it may seem overwhelming. I was where you were. But the great news I have for you is that Jesus is with you now and will appear for you as he did for me.
Fast fixation of this alcohol for the next 40 days can result in some incredible benefits, such as improving sleep, bright skin, hydration, and reducing brain fog. Damage to the stomach lining repairs itself. It also reduces the risk of cancer, reduces your resting heart rate, lowers cholesterol, and improves blood pressure. You will give a healthy boost to your liver and gut health. You save a lot of time, money and energy.
My hope is that you also feel closer to Jesus. When I’m trapped in the drinking cycle, there’s a barrier between me and God. My spiritual life changed when I started to get fast and started making space for him with a clear head. The ability to pray with a calm mind, the ability to take the time to meditate on his words, and to surrender my disturbed drinking to him, brought us closer than ever.
God has made us all that different, but if you’re someone like me, after not drinking for 40 days you’ll feel better than you felt in the year. I’m very excited about you.
Are you ready to be interested in the role alcohol plays in your life? However, Jesus drank a powerful six-week series of wine podcasts based on Love Life Sauber. This podcast series lays the foundation for a spirit-driven, bountiful approach to changing your relationship with alcohol. Each episode invites believers to reconstruct their beliefs through the lens of faith, neuroscience, and Christ’s identity. Subscribe and adjust every Monday and discover what you can do when you abandon your glasses and seize bounty. Listen, Jesus drinks wine at Lifeaudio.com and subscribes to Apple and Spotify and never misses an episode!
Love Life Sober, available on Amazon and all major book retailers, a 40-day alcohol for rediscovering your joy, improving your health and updating your mind.
Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Vinicius “Amnx” Amano
