“Looking back may be the only way to move forward” (Taylor Swift, “Manuscript”).
Most of us have experienced traumatic experiences in our lives. Such adversity often leaves us with scars and scars. People closest to us tend to leave deeper scars than strangers from school, university, or work. Our parents, friends, and siblings can all hurt us in worse ways than we can imagine. Hurtful words and careless actions can cause terrible feelings towards yourself.
This was certainly true for me. Through therapy, I had to really reflect on my past in order to heal and move forward with my life. There’s a reason therapy begins in childhood, as much of our pain and trauma begins as children and teens. This is why therapists backtrack before addressing the current pain. In this way, we see that we need to look to the past in order to heal and move forward in life. The best time to begin healing is this Thanksgiving season.
look back on the past
Looking back on the past can be painful. In fact, it can open up wounds you never knew existed. From the day I first started therapy to now, I have learned new things about myself that I never knew before. I saw myself as a defenseless child who was too emotional and cried too much. After all, this is what I was told repeatedly.
But looking back, I’m proud of who I am. I’m proud of her for overcoming all the obstacles to get to where she is today. Did she have a problem? Of course she did, but don’t we all do that too? Our problems make us who we are today. We learn and grow from conflict.
Having always been seen as the “problem”, I could tell you countless stories about how much this has hurt me, but I will try not to give you a lifetime of grief. But I would like to share that I no longer consider myself the problem. I wasn’t the problem, the nuisance, or the mistake, even if my words and actions told me to. I was just me. No, I couldn’t do all the amazing things my sisters could do, but that’s okay.
I’m just me and you’re just you. And there is nothing wrong with this.
If you too have ever had negative feelings about yourself, please know that you are wonderful just the way you are. We all have problems, but that does not diminish the truth that we are God’s beloved children (1 John 3:1). Never doubt this truth and never allow others to tell you different.
The Bible also teaches that we are fearfully and wonderfully created. (Psalm 139:13-14). Fearlessly and wonderfully created, we are who God created us to be, and God makes no mistakes. Our personality, appearance, and impact on the world are all unique to us as individuals. No one can take this away from us, including our parents, friends, and partners.
This Thanksgiving, we must look to the past to move forward. Once upon a time, we were able to find healing. Think back to a time when you started to feel like something was wrong or bad about yourself. Were those the words of a parent, or the hurtful words of a teacher? Reflect on these things and work with your therapist to begin processing these difficult memories.
Bring your pain to the foot of the cross
In addition to talking with a therapist, it’s important to take these concerns under the cross. When we bring these concerns to Jesus, a burden is lifted from our shoulders. The Bible tells us to be anxious. (1 Peter 5:7) Including the pain and trauma we experience.
The Lord cares about our every emotion, every hurt, every scar. God never ignores our troubles and pain. God attends to our suffering and surrounds us with comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). Whenever you feel pain, turn to the Lord. Trust God with this pain and trust that He will heal you. He will help you process this pain and bring important insights into your life.
Through this process, I discovered true healing in the presence of the Lord by my side. He helped me see that my pain had a purpose. The pain wasn’t in vain. It ultimately led me to the Lord and shaped me into the person I am today. What my parents saw as “overly emotional” or “too sensitive,” God showed me to be empathetic, compassionate, and caring. These are all beautiful gifts that God has given me and I am not ashamed of them.
This Thanksgiving season, reflect on your past with the Lord. It will help you turn hurtful words into something you can learn from. God has a way of resolving even bad things to our benefit. And He will surely do it for you (Romans 8:28). Don’t doubt God, believe in Him. Trust is necessary because once you trust God completely, you will be less influenced by the hurtful words of the world, your family, and your friends.
Find comfort in the Lord this Thanksgiving
Jesus is our Savior and Redeemer. There is nothing that God cannot do. God can move mountains, calm storms, and bring salvation to mankind. Nothing can prevent God from healing your heart. As we reflect on our pain and traumatic experiences, we can begin to find slow healing and growth through the Lord.
We do this by reflecting on what Jesus has said about us, not what has been said to us in the past. Jesus’ actions show us how much He cares about us and why we are worthy of love. The very act of Jesus dying for our sins shows how much He loves us (John 3:16-17). The love of Jesus can heal any wound, small or large.
Healing is found in Jesus. The past is the past, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect us today. The past influences us in the present. Through hurt, pain, and hurt, we are the people we are today. Some of these wounds make us stronger, while others weaken us. I can only speak for myself, but most of my hurts have only disappointed and weakened me.
If this applies to you, rest in peace and know that the power of Jesus is made perfect in our weakness. The apostle Paul tells us:But he said to me: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore let me all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. That is why I rejoice in weakness for Christ’s sake. insult, hardship, persecution, and Difficult. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
Like Paul, we too have experienced extreme weakness. But our weakness shows the Lord’s power all the more. Instead of feeling powerless because of our weakness, we can become strong. Along with Paul, we too can find strength through our weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and hardships. This is all because of Jesus. Because when we are weak, Jesus is strong.
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Vivian Bricker earned a Bachelor of Arts in Ministry and then a Master of Arts with an emphasis in Theology. She loves theology, ministry, and all things helping others learn about Jesus. For more of her content, visit Cultivate: https://cultivatechristianity.wordpress.com/.
