Providers of pastoral and psychological care for missionaries often encounter missionary families (or families served by missionaries) who have experienced various levels of trauma.
It is no secret that trauma affects people in many ways. The same goes for children. Therefore, not all Christian workers around the world have immediate access to helpful counseling and trauma centres. It is important that missionary care professionals have some basic tools and understanding of how vulnerable children can help them deal with their trauma.
Below are some practical tools:
I work part-time as a child trauma specialist at the Gianninagaslini Institute in Genoa, Italy, working with patients from around the world who have experienced various levels of trauma. All cases are unique and recovery timelines vary, but below are practical tools our lab often uses when helping children talk and deal with their trauma . These practices are useful for any ministry that is responsible for caring for children.
A. Mind Mapping
In this activity, you write the word in the center of a paper, flip chart, whiteboard, or blackboard (whatever is available). In a rural setting, I used a stick to write in the soil. This phrase could be as simple as “peace.” Next, when you think of the word “peace,” you ask the child to say words, thoughts, or ideas, colors, etc. that will come to his or her heart.
Just as a child says each word, you draw a line from the word peace and develop it further. For example, a child might say the word “safe.” Therefore, you will have a line like this: peace—security. Then you ask what it means to them, and the child might say “my parents”, so now it’s peace—-security—parents. You get an idea. In the end the entire page is full.
The key point to observe is that in many cases words like “peace” and “security” mean that they are completely different from children. By working with children on war-torn lands, they have never lived in what many Westerners label as a peaceful environment. Therefore, for those children, being peace meant being in the presence of a loved one and had nothing to do with what was happening outside their walls.
They may have been in the middle of the Crossfire battle scene, but the fact that they were still with their parents was meant to have them in peace.
Ultimately, for these kids, they may have been in the middle of the Crossfire battle scene, but the fact that they were still with their parents was meant to be in peace. Ta. For him, he juxtaposes it with a child from France who said peace means lack of discussion or disagreement. In their words, peace was “silence, loneliness, and agreement.”
For more mature teenagers, we were able to go to a spiritual level. One child I worked for was resting in front of Jesus, saying it was peace. When I asked him to remind him of what it looked like, the teenager thought of the cross-story repentant thief (Luke 23:39-41). This was what peace had to mean: being with Jesus.
If we live before Jesus, our souls can still be in peace.
This means that despite the confusion of things around us (like the repentant thieves on the cross), if we live before Jesus, our souls are still in peace It led to a discussion among teenagers saying there could be a possibility. deep! Mind mapping is a great tool to go deeper to discover what concepts are important to each child on a very intimate level.
B. Five Love Languages
Many are familiar with Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages. It continues to be a useful tool that we frequently use to bring children with trauma. Naturally, we don’t sit with young children and read books, but we use some concepts to tell them how they feel loved , I ask you to write and draw.
It’s helpful to talk about how people feel loved.
For some children it is physical affection, while others may respond that they need words of affirmation and encouragement. Others are only loved when they are served or when they spend time with important people in their lives. It may be helpful to talk about how people feel loved depending on the age of their children, but it can also help to talk about how children express their love. Sometimes the way a child feels loved is different from the way he/she shows love.
For children experiencing trauma, the presence or absence of love is important. Sometimes our lab will ask children who have experienced trauma to draw pictures of the last time they experienced or saw love. It’s interesting to mention “when mommy and dad hugged me and told me everything was fine.”
Conversations with children about the meaning of being cared for and loved are important.
One Ukrainian child painted a photograph of aid workers providing food and clothing when Ukrainians entered Romania at the outbreak of war. The child spoke about how these acts of service are demonstrations of love. Conversations with children about the meaning of being cared for and loved are important.
C. Object Lesson
Sometimes you can have your child create something from playdo, LEGO, toothpicks, etc. For example, towers and boats. Caregivers then introduce small trauma or “stresstorters” that ultimately damage and/or destroy the tower or sink the boat. We ask the child to explain what happened in their own words and reconstruct what was ultimately destroyed. In this process, what elements will the tower be stronger and more robust, and what will it help the child? So what do I need to replace?
Missionary care experts also use Kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery. This repairs damaged areas with crushed or mixed urcil lacquer with grinding gold, silver or platinum as an image of resilience. Many children are fascinated by these pottery jars, making them a useful tool to help children deal with trauma.
D. Movie
There are countless films that can help children with trauma. Watching “The Lion King,” you can talk to your child about why it’s important for Simba to return to Pride Rock and why it was a difficult and emotional journey. The film helps children open up their ability to talk about trauma and helps caregivers handle their own.
E. Plants and Colors
Aesthetics is important when working with children who have experienced trauma. Make sure the room is coloured and that no flowers or plants are dead in the room. If possible, it is best to have only raw and cultivated plants. Monotonous colours and dead plants are triggers for children who have experienced trauma.
Obviously, this is not a thorough list, but practices like these are extremely valuable to those seeking care for children and vulnerable people.
Originally published by Global Member Care Network. It was reissued with permission.
Mihai Lundell works in one of the organization’s challenges, lives in Genoa, Italy, where he cares with local pastors and Christian leaders. He is a member of the European (Missionary) Member Care Committee and is responsible for promoting the care of missionaries in countries with little or no care networks. Additionally, he serves on the Global Member Care Committee as a representative of Europe. He currently works with the Gaslini Institute in Genoa, Italy on child trauma counseling and with UNICEF on crisis counseling in a war-torn country. He regularly teaches and trains in Europe on the subjects of member care essentials, intercultural communication, burnout and child trauma.
