How did we get here? I mean really! One moment the baby is placed in our trembling arms, shaken out of the comfort of the womb, and the next moment you wave goodbye, only to see them excitedly dash into the kindergarten. Then just a few minutes pass and they’re running off to play Little League (high school) softball and you’re entertaining their friends by filling your pantry with endless snacks and pizza rolls. Fast forward two seconds and the house is packed with teenagers who are louder than a raging party (I don’t know how loud they actually are, but I think so), their schedules are crazy busy, the eye rolls are a little annoying (as are the sarcastic replies), and…that’s it! In the blink of an eye, the house slowly becomes darker and quieter, friends disperse, snacks are replaced with granola bars, and you stop shopping for a “dorm-sized” microwave. hang on! what?
How does 18 years feel in 18 minutes? This is all work. All this love. All this sacrifice. Just…to let them go? I can’t even write these words without a tear forming in the corner of my eye. Please forgive me for being a little disappointed. As you can see, I have a senior. Sniff, sniff. If you’re here, I’m sure you are too. First, let me give you a heartfelt (virtual) hug. This is difficult.
To be honest, yesterday was a bit of an emotional roller coaster. (A consistent theme here). Anyway, my sweet cousin who happens to be an amazing photographer sent me a photo of her daughter’s graduation. Senior’s photo. I had to write it again because it didn’t seem real. Then again, how did we get here?
However, when an email containing these precious photos appeared on my phone, my heart instantly froze. Something struck me and I couldn’t press the “view photo” button. I couldn’t resist opening it. Questions flooded my mind, strange emotions came out of nowhere, and I found myself looking at the “first photo”, the gateway to all the other great photos, with blurred vision and a very heavy heart.
It’s okay if it’s not okay
In that moment, I realized I wasn’t okay. It was a wild (and really bumpy) ride in this completely transparent place. If you have a senior, I think you’ll understand exactly what I mean. Maybe there’s a reason why teenagers are so energetic? I’ve been told (many times) that there’s a reason you’re ready to give them the boot by the end of fourth grade. And, frankly, that’s completely understandable. Understood. They are no longer fussy babies or tantrum-throwing toddlers. They’re not repentant teenagers either, because it’s more than that. They are now your “mini-me”. Your baby is an adult. It reminds me of who I used to be and time passes really quickly.
I think it’s bittersweet. But you already know that. So let me tell you that it’s okay to not be okay. God knows and understands. He has also humbled us on this journey and opened our eyes to realize that despite the many challenges and hardships that come with this season, it was truly worth it. love and sacrifice. Time and effort. tears. Oh, I really cried!
Dear friend, God was there. For the past 18 years, the Lord has been watching everything. And God tells you that your reward will be great (Psalm 127:3-5). You did it! You brought the baby here. We send them out into this world. Now it’s time to get your hopes up and get excited to watch them succeed!
this is just the beginning
Whether it’s your first baby, your middle darling, or your “baby” going on a journey and experiencing the adventures of this world, pause for a moment. Take a deep breath and think back to fond memories. Sometimes we have to learn to accept the past in order to move forward in this tender season.
So pull out your memory book or scroll through your phone. Let’s sift through all those photos, relive sweet (and perhaps not-so-sweet) memories, and bring it all back. Please accept everything. Photos of the best birthday party ever for someone who wondered if they would ever sleep again. Once you have access to more recent photos, welcome God’s presence and seek His comfort. Then, have the courage to press the “See more photos” button and let God whisper softly into your heart.
“This is just the beginning!” If God could say anything to us moms right now, it would be that we are not going to be stuck in the past or stuck in the present. Rather, when we put our trust in God alone, He guides and guides us, giving us complete confidence, confidence, and hope for the future (Proverbs 3:5-6, Jeremiah 29:11).
Believe that God is writing their story
Obviously, life is about to change dramatically, but we cannot hide that truth. But if you can, I want you to believe that God will get you out of this. We have clumsily trusted God with them since birth, and this trust includes fervent prayer and the knowledge that God is always with them, even when we are not physically present.
It’s time, sweet mom friend. We have done our best to build a faithful foundation (Proverbs 22:6). Unstable at best, but this will set them apart from the world (1 Peter 2:9). We must hold fast to that truth and hand over the pen with full trust that God will write the rest of their story. Oh, but don’t get me wrong or worry. We don’t just sit on the sidelines. We can still play an active role in their lives through love, service, and fervent prayer. So the next chapter may be different, but I have a feeling it’s going to be very good.
So the reality is that in just a few short months, your amazingly beloved seniors will be walking across the auditorium stage, donning their hats in glorious triumph, and joyfully celebrating their efforts over the past 12-plus years. But the best part of the moment (at least for you) will be when they make eye contact and smile. That’s all the encouragement you need. Cherish that moment!
Prayers (and virtual hugs)
Dad, where do I start? There are many emotions that trouble my heart, and I welcome the Holy Spirit to speak for me when my words fall short or fall short. As a mother of the elderly, I humbly ask for your peace, comfort, love, and joy during this season that often robs us of its goodness and brings up a wide range of emotions. First, I would like to thank you for the honor and privilege of raising my daughter. It was such a joy to watch her grow and change and become this beautiful young woman who happened to resemble her beloved late grandmother. Next, I ask you to give me the courage to allow her story to be written. I know that you are very good and that her life is filled with great testimonies. I need help understanding when her story causes friction or hostility with my opinion. Finally, I would like to ask her to please take good care of our relationship these past few months while she is home. May she bring peace to our homes and restore joy and excitement to our hearts as she follows her adventures. Let’s create healthy boundaries so we can share our lives in a way that provides the freedom she wants and the peace of mind I want. God, I trust you. I know you will use her to do great things. And I know that you are with me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Amen.
Sending you a big big hug from my heart!
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Jacob Wackerhausen
Alicia Searle is a dedicated author, blogger, and speaker who is passionate about pouring out her heart and leading women of all ages to Jesus. She has an academic background and holds a master’s degree in reading and writing. Her loved ones call her Mama. So much of her time is spent cheering them on at softball games and dance classes. She’s married to her crush (a tall, spiky-haired blonde) who can make a mean latte. She writes her heart on the page while sipping on the deliciousness as the puppy licks her paws. Visit her website aliciasearl.com and connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.
