The author, Armand Kaymaxian, is now living a life of redemption after struggling with addiction and abuse.
Kaimaxian, the author of “He Calls Me Redeemed: A Memoir of Childhood Sex Abuse, Heroin Addiction, Hope, and Redemption,” told CBN News that he decided to come forward with his difficult story to help others understand the power of grace and forgiveness.
“I know what it’s like to be hopeless,” he said. “I know what it feels like to feel trapped, hopeless, lost, and broken. I also know what it feels like to be saved by Jesus Christ and to feel free on the other side of pain.”
Ultimately, Kaimaxian said she wants to help others work through their struggles by sharing the very real personal pain and triumphs she experienced.
“I wanted to write a story that would give hope to hopeless people,” he said.
Kaimaxian was sexually abused as a child and was eventually driven to drug use. The problem gradually worsened as he entered high school and into his 20s.
“I went from marijuana to drugs,” he says. “Then when I got into drug dealing, that led to a whole (another) level of that lifestyle, and eventually I found myself addicted to heroin in the middle of all of that going on.”
He said that during Kaimaxian’s addiction, his actions and antics were causing chaos in his life and his mindset was “an absolute disaster”.
“I stole money from everyone,” he said. “I…had problems with law enforcement. I had problems on the streets. …I was really miserable. If you saw me walking, you would have crossed the street. … Just hopelessness, hopelessness, absolute misery in every conceivable capacity. It was just a horrible, horrible time in my life.”
By the time Kaimaxian turned 27, he had hit rock bottom.
“I want to kill myself because I’m addicted and so miserable. Every morning I woke up, as soon as I opened my eyes, from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed, I was completely miserable,” he said. “Dope intoxication is a really scary thing.”
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One day, Kaimaxian said he had finished his last few bags of heroin and was preparing to end his life. At the time, he was living in Long Branch, New Jersey, and felt an immense sense of despair.
“I decided, ‘This is it. I’m just going to jump in front of the train. I can’t do this anymore,'” he recalls. “Then let’s head to the station.”
But on his way to the station, he passed a hospital and something inside him begged him to stop and go inside, and he did. It was a decision that completely changed everything.
“I went in and told them what was going on,” Kaymakshian said. “They put me in the psychiatric ward there. I was there for a couple of nights.”
One night, his mother reached out and asked if he needed anything, and he felt he had to tell her there was a Bible on his nightstand that he wanted. His mother complied with his request and brought it to him.
“I opened the Bible to a random page,” he said. “It was Psalm 88. I read that psalm and I was like, if I could have written a letter to God in that moment, that would have been all I felt and thought. I just hit the floor half face in and cried on the ground.”
Kaymaxian continued, “I just asked Jesus to save me.”
He sought professional help in rehab to get his life back on track, and the rest, he said, is history. God, who had felt so far away, suddenly became my best friend.
“I never had a problem with God existing. It never mattered, but God just felt so far away,” Kaimaksyan said. “It’s like having a father in another state that you’ve never met before. He exists and you’ve heard stories about him, but you don’t know him personally.”
“Then, out of the blue, one day he shows up and says, ‘I’m going to spend time with you over the next few months and years, and we’re going to get to know each other.’ It’s a totally different situation, and that’s what God did for me.”
Kaimaxian found herself completely starting over, healing from her past. With no high school diploma, no prospects, no job, and no home, he recalled writing a list of things he wanted to accomplish. In addition to his job, wife, and children, he wrote, “Please write a book about how Jesus Christ saved my life.”
It seemed ridiculous at the time, but years later, he’s now promoting and talking about the book. This book details how God rescued him from his once chaotic life.
“My life has been truly blessed over the last 15 years,” he said, noting that he now has a wife and three children. “We’ve done so many incredible things. We’ve traveled and spent time together as a family. The last 15 years have been an incredible experience since I gave my heart to the Lord.”
Ultimately, Kaimaxian believes God intervened to change everything, freeing him from the pain of his past and giving him a solid foundation on which to build his life.
“I don’t wake up every morning so I have to fight not to use drugs,” he said. “It’s a complete transformation, a change in mindset. It’s a new life. You’re a new creation.”
Kaimaxian hopes her book, “He Calls Me Savior: Memoirs of Childhood Sexual Abuse, Heroin Addiction, Hope, and Redemption,” will be a deep inspiration to others.
“My hope is… that after reading this book, people will stop and ask themselves difficult questions,” he said. “I really hope people stop and think and ask themselves the question, ‘Who is Jesus?'”
Learn more about “He Calls Me Delivered.”
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