I thought I was good at math. I got good grades in my high school and college math courses. It really was. But these days, whenever one of my kids needs help with their math homework, I sometimes feel like I’ve never seen math before. Granted, part of the problem is that it’s only been a while since I last did the math they were learning. But the bigger problem is that they are learning math in completely different ways. And more often than not, I’m simply perplexed by it all. I start by trying the way they taught me how to do math, but inevitably I end up giving up and doing it the way I know how. So far, no one has been detained.
Family discipleship may feel similar. As parents, we sometimes believe that there is one proper way to discipline our children. Or perhaps we believe there is one right way or resource to guide family devotions. We try it—we try our best—but for some reason it just doesn’t click, and eventually it takes away the life and joy of family discipleship. As a result, you may end up throwing in the towel.
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But here’s the good news. There is more than one way to train children. In fact, there are several ways to stay true to our goal of helping children know Jesus, trust Jesus, love Jesus, and live like Jesus. As long as that is our destination, how we get there is secondary. With that in mind, here are eight ways to get your kids to know Jesus.
church. Many families start here by connecting their children to the church. Of course that’s great, but we can’t stop here. An important part of training children is that families participate in their local church out of joy and integrity, not obligation. They need to see us truly and meaningfully engaging with communities of faith. Church should not be the bulk of children’s discipleship, but neither should they be absent from church. prayer. If there is one thing we can do to discipline our children, it would be prayer. Remember, an important part of family discipleship is helping children know and love Jesus. And what better way to do that than by talking to God? Regular, authentic, vulnerable prayer at night, at meals, in the car, not only connects your child to Jesus, but models what a relationship with Jesus looks like. If you are just beginning family discipleship and are looking for a place to start, start here. dedication. When most parents think of family discipleship, they probably think of devotional activities: regular family gatherings to read and discuss the Bible. That’s true. Devotion should be a key element of family discipleship. But family devotion is not uniform. Some families use devotional resources, others use the Catechism. Also, some families follow a Bible reading plan, while others focus on Bible verses from church the previous Sunday. Some people sing. Some play learning games or participate in learning activities. Some people practice their faith by serving. The key is to find what works for your family. Let’s be realistic. Start with a manageable cadence, perhaps once a week for 10 minutes. Once you develop the habit, gradually increase the time and frequency to build on your wins. If you don’t know where to start, try reading a family devotion book or ask other families in your church or your pastor. Book. Reading aloud to preschoolers and younger children is so important and a great way to spend time together. In addition to reading traditional children’s books, weave in trusted faith-based books and Bible stories. This is a great way to introduce children to the faith and encourage conversation. If you have older children, read them together. If you have preteens or teenagers, choose books to read individually and discuss them. conversation. Deuteronomy 6 is a classic passage on family discipleship, but if you look closely, you’ll notice that it says much more about “everyday” faith than it does about formally organized family devotional time. While such structured time is important, this organic, raw time may be the most effective tool in our family ministry toolbelt. When we weave Jesus into our daily lives, everything we do and say, we show our children that knowing, trusting, loving, and living like Jesus is not temporary. It’s a full-time way of life. Take advantage of the conversation opportunities around you and talk about Jesus. If you have trouble finding natural promptings at first, start by simply asking your child what they’ve learned about Jesus recently, how their faith is growing, and what questions they have about God. event. A powerful way to have spiritual conversations with your child and help them apply their faith to everyday life is to look for connections to what’s happening around you. Find conversation starters from news, politics, entertainment, sports and more. “How do you think Jesus would vote on that issue?” “What is the gospel message in that commercial?” “Did that athlete show us Jesus?” “What would you have done if you were the main character in that movie?” activities. Think about where your family spends most of their time. How can we weave faith conversations into that? What does it look like to live like Jesus on the baseball field, at school, in your neighborhood, at work, etc? Additionally, consider intentionally engaging in hands-on learning activities. For example, if we are talking about trusting Jesus, trust is lost. If we’re talking about God’s creativity, let’s take a walk in nature. I’ll serve you. As parents, we must not lose sight of the fact that our mission as family disciples is not just to help our children know, trust, and love Jesus. All of that is important, of course, but it is also important that our children live like Jesus. We are created to reflect the full humanity of Jesus in the world around us. We should love as Jesus loves. Just as Jesus is merciful, we too should be merciful. and so on. So part of family discipleship includes finding regular ways to be the hands and feet of Jesus and serve others. Volunteer at your local food bank or shelter. Help your elderly neighbors mow their gardens. Hold a yard sale to raise funds to support missionaries. Show your children that your faith is an active faith.
As you begin your family discipleship training or take the next step, keep a few things in mind. First, you can do it! God didn’t give you a job that wouldn’t help you accomplish it. Second, keep the long-term perspective in mind. Don’t try to do everything at once. Choose one or two steps to take, even if they are small. One may be more effective than the other at this time, and that’s okay. Win somewhere and grow from that win. Effective family discipleship consists of moments that add up to form a beautiful tapestry of faithfulness.
Looking for more resources on family discipleship? Check out Family Discipleship That Works and Foundations of Faith.
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Brian Dembouchik (PhD, Midwest Baptist Theological Seminary) is associate publisher of the Thomas Nelson Bible and author of Family Discipleship That Works and Faith Foundations. He previously served as editor-in-chief of The Gospel Project, a Bible study curriculum used by more than 1.6 million adults, teens, and children each week, and has also served as a pastor, disciple minister, and family minister.
