I had been properly warned that becoming a mother would change the world. Even though I listened to all the advice and mentally prepared myself for late-night tantrums, bad diapers, and extra 30 minutes to load the car to run errands, I didn’t realize how much motherhood would change me.
Even better, becoming a mother has dramatically changed my faith, forcing me to not only understand what I believe about the gray areas of Christianity, but also how to have conversations with my son about those sacred areas. We want our homes to serve a God who is not afraid of our questions, but we also want our homes to honor the sacred work that comes from grappling with those questions and pursuing a counterculture lifestyle.
I want my family to change. Not for praise or recognition, but so that each night I can rest my head in the grace of being sustained and guided by the Most High. I couldn’t be more protective of my husband, son, myself, and our future children.
With a holiday like Halloween, it’s only natural that darkness looms. Gray questions surface. Unfortunately, many Christians are so busy judging who participates and who doesn’t that they miss the healthy conversations in between. Meanwhile, the beauty, restoration, and sacredness of church holidays like All Saints’ Day are lost in the smoke and rubble of these wars.
I would like to take a moment to share the changes in my beliefs, reflections, and perspectives regarding Halloween and All Saints’ Day, and explain how being a mother has led me to consider how I was raised, what the culture says, and where I believe God rests in all of it.
halloween
I grew up in a Christian home and we also celebrated Halloween. In fact, one of my favorite childhood pastimes was flipping through children’s Halloween cookbooks that showed how to make zombie pigs and creepy crawly gummy worm punches in a blanket. (Making the punch was harder than it looked; I never quite got the visual aesthetic.) Of course, my Bible-believing family never pursued the darker side of the holiday. While we spent most of our time visiting trunk-or-treaters at local churches and snagging expensive candy from my grandmother, I innocently celebrated Halloween without knowing anything about it. Nothing more, nothing less.
But now that my son is here, I can’t afford to be ignorant. My husband and I decide what we will and won’t celebrate at home. Our decisions shape our worldview of innocent life. That’s a heavy responsibility. It’s a really heavy responsibility.
To be honest, the idea of celebrating Halloween has been making me nervous for the past few weeks. I didn’t mean it in a creepy way, I just meant to stand still and be on guard.
I recently heard Every Woman a Theologian Phylicia Masonheimer discuss the history of Halloween on her podcast Verity, explaining the pagan customs observed on October 31st and the beautiful and courageous actions of the early church to reclaim the holiday. To my horror, I learned that many of the Wicken-based rituals of Halloween have crept into our daily lives through crystals, terra cards, horoscopes, cottagecore wear, and more. The culture makes them seem harmless, superficial, and casual…normal enough for Christians. But it becomes a slippery slope when you understand the dark pits of witchcraft, the history of druids, and the truly nasty activities they partake in as Halloween approaches. (We encourage you to do your own personal research on these religious and pagan practices. The more you know, the more you will be able to make informed and spiritually sound decisions. But I warn you to be careful with what you read. It’s dark out there. Very dark. Surround yourself in prayer and guard your heart with the Bible as you read this information.)
Now, this doesn’t mean you’re involved in the dark if your child dresses up as Spider-Man and snatches candy from the neighbors. I am not God and I have no place to judge your heart or your family’s fall itinerary. However, there are three questions that our family answers openly and honestly before our son participates in Halloween-related activities.
1. What is the intention of the organized activity?
2. What are our intentions in engaging in this activity?
3. Do you understand the history and meaning of the themes presented in this activity?
I have no problem with my son wanting to wear scarecrow face paint and eat his weight in trunk-or-treat candy from the local church. This Halloween activity is rooted in redemption, community, and love. Our purpose is to enjoy fellowship and witnessing with those who do not know Christ. That history is within the four walls of a Bible-believing, Holy Spirit-led church that wants the light of Christ to penetrate the darkness.
But if an activity does not answer these three questions from a place of purity and Christ-centered love, our family will not participate.
Did I dress up as a witch or a skeleton bride as a child? yes. Will he be allowed to dress up as a druid, ghost, or demon? no.
Have you ever been in a haunted house, a haunted field, or a haunted hayride? Yes, I have. Will he be allowed to visit those spaces? Absolutely not.
Did I attend a Halloween party that wasn’t very Christian-based? I did. Will he be allowed to do that? Not as long as he lives under my roof.
This may seem a bit harsh, and it’s certainly harsher than the way I was raised (even in a Christian home), but I know the fear and darkness these activities can create and how they destabilize the mind and soul. I was a cast member on a haunted house when I was in school, and nearly 10 years later, I still feel the weight and emotional guilt of causing fear to others in the name of light-hearted fun. I remember the faces and cries of people I knew. Strangers I didn’t know. It wasn’t innocent. It wasn’t kind. It wasn’t casual fun. It was dark. That was a mistake.
On the other hand, I truly believe that having honest, engaging conversations with your kids about why you’re not participating in those activities, and allowing them to work on other healthy things, will teach them the importance of letting the will of Christ govern their lives and guide their decisions. There is beauty in vulnerable, tough, and respectful conversations between parents and children.
all saints day
I was born and raised Georgia Peach. I spent a Sunday in a red-carpeted Southern Baptist church where the message of hell, fire, and brimstone was hot and the fried chicken served after the church service was even hotter. I had never been introduced to a liturgical church calendar. Anything that looked even remotely invented or celebrated by the Catholic Church was deemed wrong. So, naturally, I knew nothing about All Saints’ Day. It was three little words printed at the bottom of my school calendar, but that was all my ignorant Protestant brain could make out.
I’m now non-sectarian, just holding firm to the rules of light and love, but I find beauty in the history of All Saints’ Day. Originally, All Saints’ Day was created by the Catholic Church in the 9th century and celebrated in May, but the holiday was later moved to November 1st to counter the pagan festivals on October 31st that plagued early church communities. All Saints’ Day was established to celebrate all the great heroes of Christianity, not just the martyrs whom the Catholic Church called saints. Today, many Christians celebrate All Saints’ Day by hosting costume parties, where participants can dress up as their favorite Biblical heroes or Christian figures, such as C.S. Lewis, Mother Teresa, or even Tim Tebow. (For the first All Saints’ Day, my little boy will be David, wearing moccasins and a gray onesie, with a walking stick with five stones as an accessory. His giant fox will play dead as Goliath. Isn’t it cute?)
Children can enjoy this holiday and attend an All Saints’ Day party or even host their own. They can participate in things like an All Saints’ Day scavenger hunt, get candy from All Saints’ Day souvenir bags, and decorate with All Saints’ Day wreaths.
Having been raised in a Southern Baptist church and attending evangelical Protestant-based Christian schools all my life, the idea of an All Saints’ Day party would have once seemed, well, boring. Cheap. Forced. It’s obviously strange. But now, in a world where darkness is all too easily masked as light, where a tiny little boy depends on me to guide and nurture his soul, I am more willing than ever to do things that others might consider culturally protected or strange to protect my home from evil. This welcomes God’s full presence into my family’s home and gives us our full attention to God’s goodness.
about me and my house
I will never say whether you or your family should celebrate Halloween or not. It’s just a conversation between you and the Holy Spirit. However, we recommend that you consider the three questions listed above. Christian moms, refuse to be ignorant about the “why” behind what we now know and celebrate as part of Halloween, and how some of those dark customs have seeped into our everyday culture.
No matter where you pitch your tent or how you choose to spend October 31st and November 1st, I hope your family takes good care of the following:
“As for me and my house, I will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/evgenyatamanenko
Peyton Garland is a writer, editor, and mom of a boy who lives in the beautiful foothills of East Tennessee. For more encouragement, subscribe to her blog Uncured+OK.
