My wife, Killie, is shining, elegant and aging, aging with joyous grace that seems too polite to touch her, even in time.
Recently, when we were in a cafe, a waitress with a big-eyed approached her and asked, “Sorry… are you a famous actress?”
Killy smiled. And our stepdaughter said, “Yes!”
A few days later, we asked someone for directions. The woman looked at Killie and said, “When will the baby be giving birth?”
People say the most surprising things.
Killie didn’t miss the beat. With the actress’s calmness and the timing of the comedian, she said, “Yeah, it’s a food baby. Anytime. She added, “At the age of 63, pregnancy will make global news.”
We laughed. People say the most surprising things.
A few words will build you. Do some trips. Others push down on emotional flights of stairs without warning or railing.
And I’m not immune either! Here are eight real things people have told me:
“How did you get her?” (How did you marry Killie?)
Translation: You are above your weight.
Implication: You don’t deserve her. “You did well on your own.”
Translation: I’m surprised.
Implication: I didn’t think you would achieve much. “You’re aging well.
Translation: You’re old, but not that old.
Implication: You were expected to get older. “You clean up well!”
Translation: You usually look confused.
Implication: This is an improvement. “You’re brave and wearing it.”
Translation: I will never wear it.
Implication: That doesn’t suit you. “You look tired.”
Translation: You look terrible.
Implication: You look worse than usual. “You fall so much on earth for someone like you.”
Translation: I was hoping for arrogance.
Implications: People like you are usually full of themselves. “I didn’t think you were funny!”
Translation: You looked too boring and attractive.
Implication: Low expectations.
The power of the mouth
Honestly, the mouth is strong. It can be blessed or bruiseed, healing or wounded, constructed or broken, and all in one go.
Proverbs 18:21 (NIV) says, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” The words don’t go away, they will lodge. They shape memories, frame identity, and echoes, long after the sentence is finished. So how should you use this amazing muscle behind your teeth? I think our words fall into three categories.
1. Words to build
The words you construct are not kind, they are constructive.
Proverbs 12:25 (NIV 1984) says, “An uneasy heart beats a man, but kind words cheer him up.”
The words you construct are not kind, they are constructive. They are not just flat, they strengthen.
“You’re important.”
“I’m proud of you.”
“You have what it needs.”
Jesus often spoke the words. To a woman who was caught up in adultery, he said, “I will not condemn you, and I will not go and commit any sin” (John 8:11 nkjv). The same blessings and challenges.
A kind word can take seconds, but it can echo into someone’s soul for years.
Encouragement is like a spiritual foothold. It helps people stand taller.
2. Broken words
James 3:8 calls the tongue “a restless evil full of deadly poison” (NIV). A sentence can shake up someone’s confidence. One ironic jab can ripple for decades. And that old line, “The sticks and stones may break my bones, but words never hurt me”? It’s not a nursery rhyme. It’s a nursery crime!
Words do harm. They play at 3am, reverberating in the background of our hearts, long after the speakers have forgotten.
Instead of using your words to burn the bridge, build it.
Some say, “I was kidding,” but humor without kindness is just cruel. That is why Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) states, “Don’t let unhealthy talk come out of our mouths. If our words cannot be lifted up, they should not leave our lips.
Don’t weaponize your wit. Instead of using your words to burn the bridge, build it.
3. Words to congratulate
Colossians 4:6 (NIV) says, “Let your conversation be filled with grace at all times.” Blessings are not just for pastors or weddings. It is the ability to inject hope, truth, and kindness into a sentence.
Jesus not only taught the truth, but he blessed people: “Be with you.” And we can do that too:
“God is looking at you.”
“You’ve not been forgotten.”
“I pray for you.”
“You’re important.”
In a world filled with noise, sarcasm and sarcasm, you become a blessing speaker.
Your mouth is a microphone. Your Mind is a playlist.
Luke 6:45 (BSB) says, “My heart is overflowing, and my mouth speaks.”
Translation: The mouth is a microphone. Your Mind is a playlist.
If we want better words, we start with a cleaner heart.
Sermon overview
let’s. . .
Building up and refuse to choose to celebrate others at any opportunity
Because when we live the “sermon on the mouth,” we don’t just sound polite. We sound like Jesus.
prayer
Lord, you have made a galaxy with words and comforted your heart with whispers. Forgive me for careless comments, sarcasm stabs, and the days when I was silent when I should have spoken about my life. Change my mind and chase my mouth. May my words be kind and Christlike.
Please help me build it, not break. Blessings, not bruises. Please give me the mouthpiece of your grace, love and truth in a world that is hunger for faith, hope and love. Amen.
May the Lord bless you 24 hours a day around the compass.
Originally published by Philo Trust. It was reissued with permission.
J. John is an evangelist, minister, speaker, broadcaster and writer. He has been in the mission for 40 years. He spoke in towns, cities and universities in 69 countries, and founded the Philo Trust in 1982, organising offerings for various evangelical ministry. J.John’s Weekly Podcast, The J.John Podcast, features a range of interviews with Christians in all their journeys and lectures. Click here to listen. J.John’s books can be ordered via Jjohn.com or other online or physical bookstores.
The Philo Trust was founded in 1982 by J. John to organize evangelistic events and projects, to naturally share faith with Christians, share leadership evangelists, and create books and resources to help people on their journeys of faith.
